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Should I keep on with him?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by CelestialBoy, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. CelestialBoy

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So, I've had a boyfriend for a few months, and gosh, I really love the guy. He's nice and all, and he's really a good dude, but I'm having an issue. One, he lives across the globe at the moment. I didn't have a problem with it until I found out that he got a bit intimate with his straight friend, and honestly, although we "worked it out" I'm not sure how I feel. I'll give a little more detail.

    Now, currently, we live in different countries. I had no issues with living that far apart from my boyfriend. I took what we had seriously, and viewed the relationship as real. Now, I told him, I don't want an open relationship. He had wanted one, because we're so far away, that if someone offers him something, he could take it. I told him maybe I could think about it, but he said no, it was fine, that we didn't need an open relationship, so there we go. But then, I found out that last week, while he was out on vacation, he got intimate with a friend of his; I was hurt deeply, and almost left him. He said he loved me, but I don't know anymore. He had a crush on this guy for a long time, and honestly, if he actually still has a crush on him, then doesn't that mean he couldn't have loved me all the way? He seems to want that open relationship still, and he also seems to think that I'm okay with just sitting by while he does that. He told me, though, that that friend would always be first to him, too. At least "until I'm there with him". I don't want that. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to put someone else first, do things with other people, when I've said I don't want an open relationship. I want someone who can be committed. I want a dedicated, mature, relationship. I don't want someone who'll throw me away if someone else comes along; not that he would, but how can I be sure? He's so far away, and if he's okay getting all kissy and touchy with a guy, how do I know he wouldn't have gone farther if the guy didn't stop him? I'm not sure if I want to go on, because I don't trust him anymore; I don't think I will again.

    Any help?
     
  2. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    Well, trust is very important in a relationship. If you can't trust your partner, then I wouldn't keep going on with it. Doesn't matter if he lived down the street, and you weren't ready for sex or intimacy, same effect. You two aren't on the same page anymore.