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My boyfriend lives in a closet in his catholic parents house

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MathMan, Mar 30, 2015.

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  1. MathMan

    MathMan
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    Hi everyone. I'm dating this wonderful guy right now, his name is Keven and we've been dating about 3 weeks. He is in kind of a situation though. He isn't out to his parents and he still lives with them as well. His parents are catholic and go to mass every week and all that jazz. He isn't able to tell his parents about me or anything which sucks. They found out about him like 5 years ago but are in denial(same happened to me).
    Anyway, I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do!? he says he wants to come out to them but once he's on his own. And not living with them, which I understand. Gahhh!!!
    I guess this more of a rant then anything. I've got my own place and I've been tempted to ask him to move in with me, but we've not been together even a month so I know that's crazy.
    Anyone go through a similar situation as him or have been in my situation? I would appreciate any advice, thanks!
     
    #1 MathMan, Mar 30, 2015
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Well, if you can stand to be in this situation for a while longer, it may be better to wait than to make the situation worse by having him come out sooner.

    It really is an uncomfortable situation for the guy who is out, but if you consider this a strategic delay, as opposed to something that could go on indefinitely, then waiting is the best option.

    Since you don't know the guy well enough, it is better that he NOT move in quite yet, 3 weeks is just not enough time to make a proper decision. Spend as much time with him as you can with the objective of getting to know him better.

    There are three ways to get to know someone: the way they handle money, the way they handle anger and the way they act when a little drunk (just enough to let go of a few inhibitions). I don't advocate getting someone drunk just to find out, but if or when it happens, observe carefully.
     
    #2 greatwhale, Mar 30, 2015
  3. Foz

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    When you say 'they found out about him' do you mean they found out he was gay? If so why does he need to come out? I'm just a little confused there, I agree that 3 weeks is to quick to live together, I went out with my ex for nearly 2 months before we stayed at each others house's.

    If you judged me by how I handled money you'd say I was brash, irresponsible and stupid! It's partially true but not entirely!!
     
    #3 Foz, Mar 30, 2015
  4. MathMan

    MathMan
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    yeah, evidentally he was on a gay blog site or something, maybe EC? but anyways, they all believe he is "confused" and being gay is a choice and all that religious crap.
     
    #4 MathMan, Mar 30, 2015
  5. MathMan

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    hey greatwhale, this guy is kind of a saint. he's never drank or anything and I doubt he ever will, which is fine with me with my drug riddled past. He wont let me see him get mad, and currently he only works part time, but he seems to always have money, so he must save pretty well...that's about all i have at the time haha. not much to go on, i suppose
     
    #5 MathMan, Mar 30, 2015
  6. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Well, you do have info on money and anger, he saves and he doesn't express anger easily (beware the anger of a patient man, it can be quite explosive). As for drinking, well, to each their own! :grin:
     
    #6 greatwhale, Mar 31, 2015
  7. Deadsouls

    Deadsouls
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    I would wait a long time, at least 6 months before I would contemplate moving in with him somewhere. In my opinion that is too short but it is the bare minimum I could see working. I would wait at least 2-3 years until I moved in with someone, however I have been engaged before at a rather young age. It was broken off and we separated on mutual terms.
     
    #7 Deadsouls, Apr 1, 2015
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