I've had a crush on a girl, Lilly, who I'm kind of friendly with, for a few months. She's bisexual, as am I and so is one of my best friends. I know Lilly because I'm in two of my classes with her. My friend knows her because she recently set up this political group that Lilly is part of. Lilly and my friend have been getting quite close recently. They're both part of this group chat thing, related to their political group. I was added to the chat as well but never joined in as I have a maths class fall on the day they have their meetings. They're always really flirty on the chat, not in a serious way, just saying things like, 'Hey, when are we going to plan our wedding' *winky face*. To be fair, my friend is constantly saying things like this to people, and she has this whole jokey romance with one of our other (straight) friends too. At lunch the other day everyone was joking around and Lilly and my friend started slow dancing which made me unreasonably jealous, especially as my friend danced with another girl too. I know they text each other which makes me a little jealous as I don't even have Lilly's number (I was worried it would be weird to ask for it, although it wouldn't - we've known each other for 7 months now and talk a lot). Both of them are really intelligent and unique people as well which upsets me as I know they would make a cute couple - although having known my friend for 10 years I feel like they wouldn't really work out. I don't know. I just don't see how why anyone would find me attractive over my friend and they have a fair amount in common. They're just so much more relaxed around each other than I am around anyone. I'm meeting up with my friend tomorrow and plan on telling her that I have a crush on Lilly, just because I really do need to talk about it with someone and she's my closest friend. Would this be a bad idea? What if she says she has a crush on her too? I should probably mention that both my friend and Lilly are 'out of the closet' while I am not with anyone, in fact I've led most people to believe that I am straight. Thanks for any advice at all :/ I can't stop crying. People have always preferred my best friend to me, ever since we were in primary school and if they do get together I would just feel so worthless.
