Okay...so I have this friend..I'm going to call her T. She is a lesbian and she has a helped me so much with a lot. She is like my other half and I love her so so so much, Not romantically/sexually just as my BEST friend. But...we met online and we have never met in person. We have been very close for abut two years. Like...we saved each others life. But she has this friend...lets call her N. So N and T have been friends since they were in middle school (they are college age now). and T has a crush on N, and I think N likes her back even though N identifies as straight. But that's not even my problem. T and I used to text until we fell asleep, and shes been leaving before A LOT the past few weeks. and by a lot i mean every night. Tonight I found out, T leaves just to talk to N on the phone every night. She leaves me, to talk to someone else. and I have insomnia really bad and she helped me fall asleep so I have barely slept in weeks. (I haven't slept in two nights) But the fact that she leaves me to talk to someone else hurts...and kinda makes me feel empty inside...all I want is to talk to my best friend. Is that too much to ask? am I being stupid? am I being selfish or jealous? idek...
Hi fragileflame (lovely username). It sounds like you two are really close. I think your friendship sounds beautiful. But you're not her only friend, and she may not be your only friend, either. It's perfectly normal for friends, even very close friends, not to spend hours with each other each night. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. I think you feel like you've been abandoned, when I really don't think that's the case. You still text every day, don't you? Even if she's been leaving a little earlier. And maybe she's leaving to talk to another girl. If that girl has been her friend for several years, and is also the girl she has a crush on, why shouldn't she talk to her? She also can't be blamed for your insomnia... Though I imagine not sleeping is making this a lot harder on you. But you are talking, aren't you? She hasn't completely cut you off. She just has hours in her life, which she dedicates to other things and other people. And that's healthy and normal and it doesn't mean she doesn't value your friendship. But you know what? If this is really bothering you, I think she's the one you should be telling. You're friends. Let her know you're hurting (I know it's harder than it sounds, but I really think it would do you good), try to explain why, and you two can talk it out. Don't accuse her or blame her, just be honest about how you feel. Good luck, fragileflame.
I feel like I can't be honest with her about this...I always feel like she will think I'm stupid and too young for her (there is a four year age difference)
But you've been friends for two years... Don't you think that counts for something? Do you think she doesn't value the friendship as much as you do, or are you being unfair to yourself?
