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Crush on my best friend...help?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Samantha44, Apr 3, 2015.

  1. Samantha44

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    So I (a girl) have a crush on one of my best friends (who is also a girl). I came out to her that I was bi -- I talked with my therapist and I might be a lesbian but I'm just focusing on what I want right now not trying to put myself into a category -- anyways, so I told her a few weeks after she told me that she doesn't know if she likes girls or guys in that way. So since I've realized that I like girls too, I've found myself falling for my friend. I don't know if she's also into me though. I mean, there are little signs, like how she'll lean her head on my shoulder sometimes, or she'll play with my hair or do this super adorable thing where she holds out her hand and says "Hey can you hold this for me?" and then grabs my hand, but she does some of those little things with other people too (including guys who she is clear she's just friends with). Another sign might be when she asked me the other day if I ever kissed a girl (I said no) and then if I've ever kissed a guy (again I said no) but I don't know if that's her liking me the way I like her or if she's just curious? I don't know. I really like her as a friend and as more and I don't want to ruin anything, especially if it's just over me reading the signs wrong. She's been going out of her way to spend more time with me lately and stuff like that but I really just don't know. I've never been in a serious relationship before, and she has and is still really good friends with the guy she used to go out with, and whenever they're together I just find myself getting really jealous. Any suggestions about if I should make a move or even how?
     
  2. gloomyra

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    You said she isn't sure if she "likes girls or guys that way"? Is she asexual or just unsure?

    You could try telling her you have a crush on a girl, but not telling her who it is. If you act like you like her in general, she might guess it's you, but if not you can just see how she reacts. That way, you might be able to get an idea as to whether or not she likes you back, without putting any pressure on her.

    But if you think she'd be ok with you asking her outright, I might try that.
     
  3. whatsupdoc

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    Hey,
    I've been in a similar situation before. I understand its a rubbish place to be, wanting answers but not wanting to hurt what you have got.

    When it was me, I bottled it up until I (in a very non-graceful way) blurted it all out.

    If you feel really strongly then , in a casual way, when you are both comfortable, tell her how you feel.

    If you are good friends then if it's bad news hopefully you can stay together. If it's good news then happy days.

    When I was in your shoes all I wanted was someone to tell me a magical way in which you could tell if someone likes you. The sad thing is there is no way, unfortunately the only way to tell is to ask. I hope things go well for you!
     
  4. Samantha44

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    She's just unsure I'm pretty sure, but I just don't know if she's even into girls, but I feel like asking her if she was would be an awkward thing to ask. I just don't want to tell her and then she'll tell me she's not even into girls and make things awkward..