*back story* Last month, I came out as bisexual to my parents via a letter since I was away at school. When they received the letter, they called me and we had a long discussion about everything, and I was feeling pretty good. Fast forward to yesterday, when I came home for Easter. My mom and I were talking, and somehow the topic of my coming out came up. She told me that her and my dad had discussed it a little bit, and that he believes I'm just confused. She then chimed in with her own thoughts, about how I'll eventually have to "pick a team because when you get married, your spouse will not only have to be worried about other (same sex as partner) but (opposite sex) as well." I was hurt that they would think this about their own daughter, but I realized that this is how a lot of society sees bisexuality as well. It sucks, but it's true. So, my question. Have you experienced first-hand bi-erasure (or any orientation-erasure)? What did you do when that happened?
I am new to this kinda thing as well... just recently came out to a bunch of people as bisexual... so i am prolly not the best person to answer your questions. However, here's my thought regarding the issue. it kinda makes sense to think that bi's would have to eventually "pick a team"... and i say eventually, because picking a team would also mean finding someone to settle down with, and that takes time and patience. now that doesn't mean that if you find yourself settling down with a guy, you become straight, or a girl and you become gay... i think being bisexual is being more fluid in terms of sexual relationships. But fluidity is not really necessary when you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. after marrying someone, whether male or female, you will still probably find other men and women attractive. It would be up to you to give in to these attractions or be faithful with your spouse. If i understand you correctly, your mom painted a picture of you getting married to a guy, but that being bisexual, you will probably have multiple affairs (with males and females). I think that is crazy. and you should tell her that being bisexual does not necessarily mean promiscuity.
