My father makes me want to rip my hair out.

I had an ex best friend that was extremely homophobic and just an overall terrible person. We grew up with each other and we were practically sisters so I just sort of accepted it when she treated me poorly or said things I didn't agree with. She would always talk about how gays are lesser people and disgusting and how they'll all go to hell. We went shopping one time and there was an employee at one store that appeared male but was wearing clothes that would be considered feminine and once we had left she started talking about what a freak he was. She doesn't even think being transgender is possible. When I started realizing I was gay I didn't know what I'd ever say to her. She made me feel so wrong and like I was sick or broken. Still I just put up with it because she's my friend and I could never leave her. Then one night, a mutual friend of ours texted me at nearly midnight saying that she was crying and that she really needed to talk to me. She went on to tell me that my ex best friend was insulting her for her sexuality (she's pansexual) and saying that it would be an abomination if she got married to a woman. That's where I put my foot down. I can never seem to stand up for myself but the minute my friend got hurt I just got so made at my ex best friend and I seriously doubted the quality of our friendship after that. Since then I have stopped talking to her and I've been avoiding places that she'd be at. I'm lucky that this was a friend and not a parent like you, so that it is actually possible for me to cut this toxic person out of my life. Maybe you could find some place else for your parents to live or get a place just to yourself? Sorry that I don't have much advice to give on this topic but at least I can let you know that you're not alone on this.

 

Yeah I know how frustrating it is to be force-fed someone's homophobia. I got through some of my friends worst lectures on the evils of queer people by texting my real friends about our favorite gay actors or character or a cute girl that my pan friend was interested in. I have a bi friend who's mother warned her about sinful lesbians raping her at school and we just laughed it off. Seriously just ignore what he's saying because it's not of any worth. You know that you're right and that he's wrong and none of the horrible things he says could change that.

 

Can you tell him you no longer want to hear any negativity in your house? There's enough out in the world and you just want your home to be a tranquil, happy place and these outbursts aren't going to be tolerated. Think of it as telling him you don't want anyone smoking in your home anymore. It's just not something that will be allowed.

You don't need to come out to do this. Your house, your rules.

 

Simply tell him that you will tolerate no negativity in your house and that you feel very differently on the topic.