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Long distance relationships

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by itsmary, Apr 5, 2015.

  1. itsmary

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    I have just entered a dating site. I would like to meet people from other countries since I have never felt attracted to spanish girls & never will
    Has anyone had a long distance relationship? Do they work out?

    Share your experiences guys!!
     
  2. RedDev84

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    Hi Mary,

    Long distance can absolutely work with the right ideas on future and maintaining leading up until then.

    I think the most important part of a LDR is to know where the future lies. It's certain you'll want to meet and eventually move to (or them to you) at some point and it's really important know how roughly when and how that can happen. I like to call it the light at the end of the tunnel...though that's often to referred to as dying...so perhaps not.....Let's just say it's your target for the future....you know what I mean!

    Consider time zones. You'd be surprised how much of a difference just a couple hours can make. I'd suggest to keep your distance within Europe if you can. It'll make visiting a lot more possible (time and money) and you'll have more time available to chat to them.
     
  3. Fallingdown7

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    I've had five. They didn't work. Some people can make them work, but they require a lot of trust and communication (as well as money).
     
  4. TJ

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    I agree with everything said above, and I have a lot of personal experience to offer.
    My boyfriend and I met in February 2012 (both 15) playing RuneScape. We've been long-distance since then. We met for the first time IRL (one year ago today!!) in April last year.
    We're moving into an apartment together on June 1 in my city. :thumbsup:

    Long-distance relationships, without saying, take a lot more work than in-person relationships.
    As my boyfriend constantly reminded me early in our relationship, long-distance relationships should be treated as such. You can't expect to treat it like an in-person relationship. You need to be very open with your partner. Don't hide feelings, don't be afraid to be who you really are, and be honest.
    RedDev is right when he says that long-distance relationships focus a lot more on specific dates like visits and move-in dates (the light at the end of the tunnel).

    They are very possible. I remember when I realized that what my boyfriend and I had could turn into an in-person relationship. Very satisfying and it made me very happy.

    Communication is, as with in-person relationships, crucial. My boyfriend and I established times of the day we called 'our time', where we would talk on the phone or hang out on Facetime. Building each other into your schedule is important, I've found, especially if you're a busy person (I am).

    I think it's important to be extra forgiving in a long-distance relationship. The other person is living their own life in addition to talking to you. They have problems to deal with that you may not be able to see or help resolve.

    Intimacy is also important. You can't hug or have sex with your partner when you're long-distance, so compliments and being affectionate is important.

    Everyone is different. Some relationships won't work, but it's important to not give up too easily. There were a few times when my boyfriend and I thought we would be break up but we kept on going and it pays off.

    If you ever need specific advice, please feel free to hit me up. Best of luck to you!
     
  5. itsmary

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    Thank you all for your messages!

    I agree with everything that's been said. I know this kind of relationships take a LOT of effort and stuff but I also know that I rather date someone who is 1000 km away than being alone (as long as we end up living together at some point)

    I hope to find the right person... If that happens, I will let you know and post my doubts here. You are very supportive :slight_smile:
     
  6. Arachne

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    I met my boyfriend almost two years ago on another forum. Even though it was online, there was something about the way he wrote that really spoke to me and we exchanged a lot of long, personal messages very early on. Then eventually it progressed on to the phone, skype (with webcam), watsapp...and last month we met for the first time! After spending two amazing weeks together, we're now engaged and planning to get married later this year/early 2016.

    TJ said it all. Honesty and communication is key and sometimes it'll be really hard (I almost called it off a few times). But, ultimately, that's true of any serious long term relationship. I don't know if I'd recommend an LDR over something closer; I miss my fiance like crazy and would give anything to be able to touch him right now...but if you feel you've meet 'the one', then no amount of distance will stop you from pursuing it.Assuming you have the financial resources to close that gap eventually! Because again, as others have already said, there has to be an end in sight.

    When I was having doubts it also helped to read about other people's experiences of LDRs. I mean the ones with positive endings, of course!! They really gave me the hope & encouragement I needed in the darker moments. Realistically, I'll probably need a few more of those stories before the year is out. 2015 looks veeeery long from where I'm standing :tears:

    Don't let me put you off though. For the right person, it's definitely worth the wait! So all the best with your search (*hug*)
     
  7. itsmary

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    Your message is beautiful and encouraging Arachne. Hope everything goes well for your fiance and you!! :slight_smile: And congratulations for the engagement(*hug*)
     
  8. Sweetberry

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    IMO, it depends on what kind of relationship your looking for. I find them to be a little hard. But that's bc I don't need just the emotional side of relationships, I need the affection/physical side too. I've had a couple LDR and emotionally they felt just as great as relationships with someone who lived down the street. But for me, I missed the other stuff, hanging out/cuddling, holding hands- simple things really. So missing those things made it less satisfactory for me. PLUS our timeline didn't really match well. I was in school for the long-hual and he wasn't able to move to where I was bc of work obligations. So after 6 months of LD, we decided neither of us felt we were getting what we needed. But I know lots of people make it work :slight_smile: so there is hope.

    If you're in a LDR with someone from another country,working with the time difference is one of the worst parts ! But it's one of those things where you have found someone you want to make the time for. Even if that means staying up until late at night because it will be their afternoon/morning.

    You will find someone for sure!!!! :slight_smile: