Yep, it's that straight-best-friend cliche, again, and now, the pining soul is yours truly. Having Major Depression, I feel the majority of emotions very intensely, especially negative emotions such as lovesickness. It's horrible. Thinking of my best friend fills me with such longing and physical heartache. I want to go back to seeing her as a friend, and not the object of my stupid obsession. I realized I wanted her romantically when the was telling me about her first love, who had died about a year earlier. As respectful as I wanted to be, I couldn't help feeling incredibly jealous of how intimate they were. I made the stupid mistake of telling her I liked her, but things are still okay between us, and we're still very close. Even so, I keep having the self-destructive urge to pour out my every desire to her. Why?? It makes no sense at all! In any case, how does one get over a straight best friend? I love her dearly as a friend, and I want it to stop there. I don't want to avoid her, because we only talk through IMs in the evening, and I don't want to risk growing apart. Sorry for the long post, thanks if you stuck through it all.
Put yourself in the other shoes. What if you had a straight male friend who falls in love with you? Wouldn't you wish he gets the message that you're not interested? That reminds me, you said about how much you love her, but what has she said or done to you? How has she shown her feelings for you?
On the first point, I do understand that nothing can come from the pestering and blubbering, and that makes me all the more anxious to get over her, so my impulsive crap doesn't hurt our friendship. On the second point, I don't follow. What are you asking?
I ask because it's hard to maintain a crush over someone who treats you just like a friend. Maybe you're picking up on things that you think she likes you more than that.
