A while ago I met up with a guy (40+) to experiment with, and after a couple meet ups, and we basically started developing feelings for each other. Of course at the time, I wasn't aware of it, at least not until our meets and talks came to an end. This is where it gets difficult. Since he's been living a straight life, he's been missing out, you know? And when he explained the situation, it came down to either me or the other guy. No one wants to be in that position, and a selfless fuck I am, I told him that we shouldn't meet up anymore, and that he should finally live his life authentically with another man. It's bothering me a lot more than I thought it would. Turns out my feelings for him were real, and I like that but at the same time I wish it would go away. This sucks, but I know it's for the best. Anyone got advice on getting through a situation like this?
Don't deny the feelings you have, own them. They are a part of you. I usually cry uncontrollably for hours when my heart gets crushed. Get out and get back on that horse. It wasn't the right time for the two of you, and maybe it was never really meant to be. Be happy that you found someone you had feelings for. At your stage of questioning, this ought to be a relief that at least the male side of the equation seems to be complete. Physical attraction and emotional attachment. You should have some self-confidence that you can snag someone and develop a relationship. Not sure how much any of this will help. Getting over feelings is hard to do. It'll take some time.
