I have had a crush on my friend K all year long. I have a class with her and I just remember walking in on the first day of school and immediately going "Oh wow that's a cute girl." I was too shy to talk to her though so I wasn't her friend until just before winter break when she started eating lunch with my group because we have a mutual friend. At first I thought I might just really want to be friends with K, but the closer I got to her the harder I fell for her. I just can't help but obsess over her. The problem is is that I think the chances of her liking me back are one in a million. People have asked her about her sexual orientation before but she's never really given a clear answer. I think she's questioning, but I could be interpreting that wrong. And I know she has a crush on a guy she's talked to maybe twice. She's acted sort of flirtatious towards me but our friend says she does that to a lot of people. I think that we've known each other for a while now so if K doesn't like me back by now she never will. I'm totally unlovable anyways... And now I'm afraid that I've put our friendship on the line because I came out to her the other day. I was just having a really bad day and I was super emotional and when I'm emotional I act a lot more rashly and make bad decisions. We were walking to class and I was just thinking about how much I like her and how much pain I am in and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I pulled her over and told her that I'm gay and then promptly burst into tears. She was really accepting and totally supports me, but I can't help but wonder how she would feel if she knew I have feelings for her. I'm afraid that she's going to figure it out because right after I came out to my other friend (our mutual one) she started to suspect that I might have a crush on K. If she figures it out then she probably be so disgusted that she won't even want to be my friend anymore. So I just want to get over my crush on her to save our friendship. I've tried to forget about how I feel and just see her as a friend but I can't do it. I'm afraid that I'm never going to feel this way for anyone ever again. I used to feel really great about having a crush, but now it's just painful. Is there anything I can do so that I can happy being just friends?
You're probably overthinking this whole thing tbh. I don't think K thinks you like her yet, but would if your other friend told her. Most girls aren't like guys in the sense that they assume everyone gay is into them. However, it would clear things up if you first told the one friend, that you like K, but don't tell her yet. Then, you can tell K you like her, but in a really casual, non-creepy way, but definitely in person. She'll probably just tell you she's not into you like that, and move on better friends than you were before. Since she's not a homophobe, I can't imagine that she'll stop being friends with you. It might take a few months, but eventually you'll get over her, once you realize it'll never happen.
Thanks JedenPolska for replying. I was very stressed out when I made that post and it made me feel better that someone took the time to read that mess and reply. Reading it back now I sound like such a whiny, lovesick teenager. You're probably right that I'm overthinking it. This is my first crush so I haven't really learned how to manage those feelings and I just have way too many questions. I can't imagine that my feelings are just going to dissipate over time but if you say so. I guess I should clarify something. I have told my other friend how I feel about K. I'm not concerned about her telling K, I wouldn't have told her if I didn't trust her. I'm still not sure about telling K because there are girls that aren't homophobic and support their lesbian friends, but become disgusted if they think they're being hit on. I don't think K would actually be disgusted but it would likely be uncomfortable for her. I wouldn't want to make her feel uneasy around me. But if I do decide to tell her does anybody have some suggestions about how I could go about that?
Getting over a "crush" or being in Love with someone can take anything from moments to years to get over. It ALL depends on the individual that is feeling it. As an example, it took me 10 years to get over my first crush/Love. My sexuality wasn't straight, gay, bi or anything else. His name was Simon & my sexuality was just about him (Simonsexual). For those 10 years I thought about him all the time. It was Love, but it was also Hero Worship.
