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parent problems

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by matt1994, Apr 12, 2015.

  1. matt1994

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    Well I'm twenty years old. And live with grandparents because mom figured out I was gay its been a year since known. And she is basically ashamed of me she told me I couldn't live with her . She said wouldn't out me to grandparents as long as I don't date no guys or tell anyone because she don't wanting it tarnishing our family reputation. She basically is telling me she is ashamed and embarrassed of me. And it really hurts. I mean like I know reaction could be worse but.just her saying she ashamed and embarrassed of me. I'm not sure how to respond. I know she will never accept because what she did to my sister for coming out as bisexual but it's hard to still take.
     
    #1 matt1994, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
  2. Kyro

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    It sucks to be in a situation like this. I know it seems like your mom hates you, but it's impossible for someone who isn't an absolute pyschopath to not love their children who they raised and cared for. She is wrong though, but sometimes people like this do come around. It's good you have others who can care for you though. I wouldn't say anything other to your mother other than that you are proud to be gay. Don't give her what she wants and say your ashamed or your sorry. Be proud to be who you are even in situations where family turns on you. Good luck to you and your sister.
     
  3. PunkRockKitten

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    Hey Matt I'm really sorry to hear about what happened you. I know what it's like to have a mother that is ashamed of you and it's an absolutely terrible feeling. I would recommend finding a local LGBT support group and making friends that love and accept you for who you are. Just having a few people that you know really care about you can make a world of difference. Your sister may be a good place to start. If you haven't already, I think you should have a talk with her.
     
  4. Im Hazel

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  5. resu

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    I'm very sorry about that. I'm living with my parents as I change careers, and I'm only out to my mom who is partially in denial. The main thing is to realize homophobia is the real lifestyle choice. Children are not homophobic unless they are taught it. Your mom has made a grave mistake, but you should not let that get you down. Not every parent is perfect, and it may be better to live away from your mom than suffer her hatred in person.

    You should just think about how you can get independent ASAP so that you aren't reliant on homophobic people. Also, do you think your grandparents would be more accepting? I know a guy who moved with his grandparents because his parents were drug addicts and abusive. Eventually, he came out to his grandma who was supportive and helped him get through a lot of stress.
     
  6. matt1994

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    I tried talking to my mom before about it once and it ended horribly. My grandparents are more religious then parents. So if they figure out I'm screwed. My sister's do know and accept but they live,so far away in different states. I just feel really depressed lately. I'm just waiting for something to go wrong or happen. I just feel really alone.
     
    #6 matt1994, Apr 13, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2015
  7. resu

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    You are not alone. You have us to talk to in the meantime. How old are you?