Does affection and complimenting play a big role in the dating scene etc. I was seeing a girl and she said she liked me and I said the same. As time passed I did inform her that I get scared to get close to people. She would let me know what she wanted and I would try my best to full fill her needs. She asked if I could hold her hand atleast and or hold her-nothing sexual. When she communicated this to me is when I started trying things because I do best like many when people tell me what they want. I did start to hold her hand more, we cuddled once or twice. She would text me how much she wanted me and I would say the same. She had expressed that she wanted to kiss me which scared me because I have never done that and she also expressed that she wanted to try and turn me on. I would try to cuddle with her and hold her hand just so I could get comfortable with the idea. However, I still got spooked and apologized alot. As time passed she mentioned that she felt we should be friends right now and that she needed to focus on herself. As much as it hurt I obliged. Now after a little over a month I have complimented her and when I do she thanks me. I told her just a little while back she looked hot which is something I never used to say and she said thank you. I complimented on her hair and said I like it that way and she mentioned that she wore her hair that way for me. Afterwards she sent me a picture of her hair and such. So my question is why is she obliging to my wants if she mentioned before about being friends? I understand no one can answer that, but her; just curious on others perspectives. Is the fact that I am giving her compliments and expressing myself playing a role in her wanting more from me? I know previously she told others she didnt think I liked her because I didnt express it much. So.....
It could be that she didn't think your relationship (hope you don't take offence me using the word relationship) was 'going anywhere' and was a little impatient, but still open for taking it further if you showed interest. By the way, as for you, have you ever considered the possibility you might be demisexual? You do say above that you're not big on labels, I know But could it perhaps be that you're shy etc. because you need to trust the person and feel close etc. first? Hope that helps at all, fell free to ask more questions! Take care <3
I'm shy when it comes down to expressing my needs. Even if I thought of wanting to talk her I wanted her sexually etc I would shy away from it because I felt she would just see me as someone who wants her only sexually when in reality I wanted to grow closer to her when she would accept me and accept my challenges. I have never been with anyone so this is still all new to me. I wasn't all the way out at work either so that was another barrier because I wanted things hush hush - we work together. After a conflict happened I talked to some coworkers close because I needed someone to listen and then as time has passed I think more people have found out I liked her. I like her because she listens and kind of challenges me to do different things. She also allows me to touch her and let's me know if I make her uncomfortable. I'm still learning this stuff. I've become more confident in people knowing because everyone I have told or have found has said that's cool
