How do you deal with unaccepting family members?

Since coming out, the road has been anything but easy. I went through a period of time where no one accepted me and I felt all alone except for the friends and colleagues who acknowledged me as I am. Then when finally deciding to come out to the last of my brothers, he had a hard time with it and I was just done at that point. If no one accepted me, then fine. At least I had told everyone and there was nothing to hide anymore. Then that brother finally came around and told me he would try his hardest to use my name and he was there for me whenever I needed him. I've been pretty content ever since. All I wanted was ONE family member to accept me and I got it.

Or so I've been telling myself...

My parents (although they say they love me) do not accept me one bit (although they think they do just because they haven't kicked me out of the house or something). They refuse to use my name or pronouns. I've talked it over many times with them but it always ends in tears and them telling me I'll always be their daughter and all that. What gets me is that they SEE how much it hurts me when they call me my birth name and the wrong pronouns, they know I hate it, but refuse to change. I heard my mother once tell my uncle over the phone, "If (insert birth name here) told me that ("she") wanted to be called Alex (my preferred name), I'd call ("her") it, but ("she") hasn't so..."
Um, excuse me?!
I was in complete disbelief. I can't tell you how many times I've gone over it with her. How many things I've told her and how I feel about it and how she has said over and over to my face that she will not call me Alex.

I don't know why I want their acceptance so bad. I don't want to care about it because at least I have one brother on my side but it still bothers me. Unfortunately, I don't have the means to move out just yet, but even if I did, I think it would still bother me to some degree. I don't know if any of you will have any advice, but if you do, I'd love to hear it.

 

Actually, I've been out for quite a while. Three years. I mean, I guess three years is still a short amount of time to them, but you think in that time, if they cared any at all, they would have at least tried or attempted to educate themselves or ask me more questions on things they're unsure of but they haven't. Instead they act as if I never came out to them. I've brought that up to them as well and my mom always says the same thing about how they weren't brought up that way so they're not sure how to deal with it. But you think that would lead them into knowing more about it. I don't know. To me, their lack of willingness to learn makes me think they don't really care all that much about me.