Hey guys, I recently came out (little over six months ago) and am now quite open about my sexuality. Being a pretty physically intimidating person, I've never had a blatantly homophbic comment said to my face before, except for today. A friend of mine I've known for over five years and I got into a friendly debate over something. (I honestly don't remember what it was about) He began to get pretty serious about it, and retorted with "at least I don't like getting f**ked in the ass" and also "at least I'm not a faggot" It didn't hurt my feelings, really, and I said nothing about it. The fact that he said that didn't bother me, but the fact that he had acted for the past few months like I annoy him every time we speak, or that he had recently to make eye contact with me and then walk the other direction, and I had a sinking feeling as to why, seeing as I had come out a few months before he started acting odd towards me. The thing is, I couldn't really give less of a shit that he's homophobic, I'm not angry at him, or angry in general really. I'm openly gay, of course I'll get homophobic comments sometimes. I'm mostly just surprised as hell that he bases one part out of a million about who I am as a basis to attempt to cut off contact with me and in general want nothing to do with me. He's known me for five years without knowing I'm gay, and now that he does, his entire opinion of me has changed. It's really amazing how a few words from someone else makes you think, isn't it?
Interestingly, some of the most violently homophobic people are ones who are themselves questioning their sexualities. It doesn't make what they do any right, but I know that there are plenty of straight people who just don't think about it much because it's not a big deal. I'm sorry your former friend has done this, but you can't expect everyone to be accepting. I actually think it has to do with their personality, where they frequently have black-and-white thinking about sexuality.
If he doesn't accept you the way you are, don't bother with him. Screw him! You deserve to be around people who will love you just the way you are. If he can't see past your sexuality then that's his loss.
Thanks for the responses, guys! And the mindset I have right now is "screw him, if he doesn't agree, that's too bad" but honestly I'm not upset about it. Thanks for the responses!
I know you say you're not upset, but since you made this thread, you probably have some hurt feelings or at least disappointment. Try not to push them away; it's okay to be upset for a while.
