Hello, I am an asexual/possibly demisexual. I met my friend this Colorguard season around Christmas time when she joined us. The guard meets every weekend. We became good friends really fast, we just kinda clicked. We get along super well and text during the week all the time. Lately she's been a lot more touchy? I mean the end of the season is always super emotional because we all live about 2 hrs away from each other but we've been holding hands and hugging a lot. Like at least three times a day for hugs, and sometimes there's no reasoning behind them. She'll look at me, smile, and just pull me into a hug. We hold hands once in a while but not as often as hugs. She's also kissed the side of my head twice. Once was a random occurrence when we were hugging and the other time was before a performance. Now I didn't even notice anything strange until my best friend made the comment that she is being really flirty. He's right though. She doesn't hug other people as much as me and I've never seen her kiss anyone else in the guard, even her guy best friend she's known longer than me. Now here's the plot twist... She has a girlfriend in her hometown. I unfortunately really like her, but since she has a girlfriend I've been trying to distance myself but she wont really let me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because I don't want to interfere with her relationship, but I honestly have no idea how she feels towards me. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm just really confused.
Try to be polite and say she shouldn't be hugging (definitely not kissing) you so much if she has a girlfriend. Have you told her you're questioning?
Honestly, just based on what you wrote, she could just be a really touchy person. It's clear you two have a close bond and she probably just cares for you quite a bit and wants to express that in some way. It's good that you are drawing boundaries though, and respecting her girlfriend back home. Girls especially can be really touchy and affectionate. I have lots of close straight girlfriends who are quite affectionate - hugging, holding hands, cuddling etc, but it's completely platonic. It sounds like it's difficult for you because you really like her, and are reading more into these actions than she probably is. You can always have an honest discussion with her about the situation if you want the touching to stop, or you can just try not to read so much into the situation and enjoy your time together as friends.
Just be honest with her. Ask her what's going on (politely) and say its a little odd for her to be as touchy and flirty if she has a girlfriend. Maybe there's a perfectly fine explanation for it. Once you know why she's acting that way you can try to figure everything else out.