Not sure what to do?????Part of me says yes....other says no.

Apologize for the length in advance:


I am not sure how to approach a "friend" of mine. I met her from a mutual friend who introduced us. She seemed really nice so I asked if we could plan a meet up. We started hanging out more. I was interested in getting to know more about her and she asked if I liked her. I said that I think I may like her.

As time passed, we became closer. She started telling others that she was seeing me which in a way was true. She expressed that she would like me to become more affectionate etc and I was working on doing better on that-never been with anyone. She had expressed that she did have feelings for me and I didnt have the best response because I was scared. I expressed I was scared because I had never done somethings-she had more experience than me, yet is younger. One day there was a situation where she let me know about a certain incident that took place, I got scared for her and texted back some not so nice things-no name calling though not my cup of tea.

Anyways, I can be avoidant when conflict occurs which I was told I learned as a child in the abusive home I lived in. I have been working for years im counseling to work on this and my counselor said I am doing better. I stopped talking to her for a few days go gather my thoughts, but I did ask to speak to her again; I was still upset, but it had more to do with work going horribly wrong and being tired from being over worked. She expressed that she wanted to be friends right now since she didn't think she could give me a relationship anytime soon. I was hurt and went into a little bit of a depression, anxiety attacks etc.

Time has passed-been about a month and a half and she is starting to want to get together more now. I have been keeping myself busy especially since work is going so much better now. She expressed just today that she wants a little space, but still wants me to communicate with her. She also admitted that she is sad that she never sees me anymore.

Why is it now that I am busy she wants something to do with me? Part of me thinks I may have stressed her out over always being so nervous since she did express that we could be friends if I got too scared previously. My issue right now is I tried hanging out with her in the past, invited her two times and once she cancelled and another she agreed, but never got back to me. So I know she likes me, issue is I am nervous of letting her in again because last time hurt like hell.

 

I don't believe she is very flakey. I forgot to say that she asked why I wasn't talking to her so much and I mentioned that I thought she wanted space. She expressed that she didn't want much space that I never spoke to her. She has also expressed yesterday that she hates not seeing me as much anymore.

I would like to see her, I do care about her. We actually work in the same building so she does see me, but just in passing. I just don't want to invite her and it happen again. As a kid, my dad never kept his word so I learned to just avoid him; her doing that hurt me. I am between a rock and a hard place because part of me wants to hang out with her really bad, but she hurt me so it sucks. I feel like as soon as I started to keep myself busy and heck I would text her compliments was when she mentioned about hanging out. Im just not sure because she will send me pictures of her herself and put her hair up once I mentioned I liked it that way, but she says she wants to be friends or she did a month ago.