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a bit obsessed with me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by apriori, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. apriori

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    Recently a stranger gave me her business card and asked to call if I wanted to talk more about a book that she saw me reading and claimed to like as well.

    I am quite friendly, especially if the other party is attractive... So a few days later we met. For the record, she is 25, I'm 24.

    We went to a bar and had one drink, talked for a bit over 3 hours. We talked about general stuff (literature, politics). It was nice, but having education in those fields, I found her a teeny tiny bit boring. She seemed nervous, I saw her hands lightly trembling for like 2 hours straight.

    She gave me a lift home. Then - about an hour later, at midnight - she texts me: what are you doing *2 days later*? I said I'm busy. Then... the next day, afternoon, she sends me another text: in a month I plan to go to *a foreign country*, do you want to come with me?

    Yes, I was somewhat shocked.
    Here I must add that she's very well off, at worst she could be called upper middle class, but probably she is more than just that. So maybe a trip for her is nothing special, maybe people like her live differently, idk. Just trying to look from more perspectives than just one...

    So now, three days after the first and only time that we met, again she texted me, asking if I want to meet up. At first she misunderstood me and was ready to meet up right then, but ultimately we agreed on Thursday.

    She is very nice and polite and just adorable, very intelligent and all that. Not weird in any way. Except being a bit obsessive. All this is getting strange. She said that she doesn't have friends apart from colleagues (recently moved), she works 12h each day and sometimes goes to work on weekends as well, so I can see how she could be lonely and desperate for human contact. Also she seemed like someone who under the surface struggles with human interactions, isn't sure how/what to do, isn't very confident etc.

    But there's even more... We never talked about our private lives, but today I looked up her profile on FB (using the surname from her business card) and she's married. All the pictures are there, wife posted heart symbols under her updates even just a week ago... Her willingness to meet up with me any day, any time that I propose does not indicate at all that there is someone waiting for her at home.

    So... what could be up with her? Any similar experiences? What could I possibly do? The next time we meet, I want to ask her about that foreign country thing, but I'm not sure about how else to approach the situation.

    My theories:
    1) for some reason she doesn't understand how exactly to treat other people, and accidentally crosses the borders all the time
    2) she's willing to cheat on her wife
    3) she's in an open relationship

    Last note: we never flirted with each other, we did not go on ''a date,'' nothing like that was ever implied. And I am not interested. But I'd love to keep her as a friend, I really really like her. In a completely platonic way.
     
  2. resu

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    Yikes, her being married throws a wrench in everything, and I would be really cautious about going to a foreign country with a virtual stranger. I think she knows what she's doing. I think you could just be honest like you said and say you only want to be friends and hang out a few times.
     
  3. wasgij

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    Adding to the the theories...
    She could be separated or divorced. From personal experience, the "in a relationship" status gets updated on *unspecified social media* within weeks, whereas "single again" seems to take years.

    You could just say "I was stalking your fb profile the other day, and I was shocked to find that you're married! I'm not sure if I feel comfortable sharing you with someone else!.."

    And, just wing it. See how they respond. It might check out. You never know.
     
  4. apriori

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    thank you both for replies :slight_smile:

    I think the same, therefore declined the offer already when I first got it. But I am going to ask her why she offered something like that. Just want to do in reality (tomorrow), not over texts.

    If I remember correctly, there were very recent (like 2 weeks old?) sweet messages to and from her wife, so I think it's highly unlikely that they're not together anymore.

    So far she's texted me every single day since we went out. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.