I'm a gay guy who only really started dealing with his sexuality this year. I'm not really comfortable with the idea. I'm okay with accepting the feelings in fantasy, but I don't really see myself doing anything with a guy in real life, and I have some religious and ethical conflicts that I am trying to either reconcile or make a decision on. Anyways, I met this guy online who just got me - gay, not comfortable with it, didn't really feel any empathy with the gay coming out narrative that people ask gays to join in on. We had a real connection. It was like we were inside each others' heads. After less than a week, he tells me he likes me, that i make him feel comfortable, and that he'd be comfortable trying sexual activities with me. I kind of overreact, and tell him that his name makes me feel good and other ridiculous cute shit. We start sending sexual messages, and it starts mutual, but I kind of send 3-4 for every one he sends, and not long into the chat he goes offline. I never hear from him again. A few days later, he deletes his account. It's hard to not to guess at why he did that, even though I know I cannot know. It's probably that he felt uncomfortable, and him deleting his account probably means that he doesn't want to talk anymore. I just wish he'd told me up-front, and that he'd given me a chance to apologize for not setting boundaries. Hard to stop holding out for him to come back online too. Don't think I'll see him again otherwise. For my part, this still feels pretty surreal. Never thought I'd be doing sketchy stuff over the net with guys in other countries. Still kind of in denial about it. Not sure what I want from you all. Tell me what to make of this I guess?
I think online relationships are a really bad idea for me. They have never worked out for me when I hadn't had a real relationship to base it off of. They've always ended badly and people take advantage of your need for connecting.
