In love with my straight best friend/Fraternity little brother

Well, this is nearly identical to what happened to me (though I was never President of my fraternity).

Here's what I did. We were two years apart and so I graduated first, and utterly miserable (and I mean really miserable) cause I knew that we would no longer be spending so much time together. Two years go by - my feelings never subside. Finally, I just did the full block out treatment. Blocked him from every social media possible, avoided situations where I would have to see him, i.e., homecoming. Just waited it out. Four years later, I'm probably still not fully over it, but that last bit is mostly cause I never met anyone knew (I suppose).

The bottom line is different people get over their first "love" at different speeds. It took me nearly four years and a lot of misery. And I still think about, but trust in the formula of time, distance and distraction. It's the only way. And to be honest, if you are certain he is not interested in you - since he is dating girls - you might wanna think about distancing yourself from him ... for your own sake. It is very painful, I know I have experienced it. But it will gradually go away. I said the same things "don't want to lose my best friend" (you can see it in my first posts), but chasing someone that will never feel the same way will only keep you unhappy.

Other people might advise telling him you are bi/gay/whatever, and see how he reacts (I did this but not sure I would recommend cause I was just desperate to stop hurting). If you absolutely cannot "leave no stone unturned" before distancing yourself ... You might wanna think about doing this. May speed up your getting over him.

Sorry I rambled, but this is literally exactly what happened to me.

Best of luck ,

Ryan

 

Hate to say it, you will be better off addressing it with him directly, so at least you get it off your chest, and let him react however he does, than keep it inside of you forever. You already know the relationship can not evolve farther than it has, and you need to get closure so you can move on and open yourself up to finding a more promising opportunity with someone. By delaying closure, you will only be hurting yourself in the long run.

Its short term pain, but long term gain, by dealing with the issue now, finding closure, and moving on.

 

1. Have you come out to him? and if so, he probably already knows that you're in love/lust with him - most people know when they're receiving adoration from someone.


2. If you want to lessen the feelings you have for him, try to focus on (and/or write down) all of his attributes that you see as his "faults".
No one is perfect, so he WILL have some. Other than being straight I mean

There are often a lot of "negative" things that people overlook when they're in love/lust with someone. Sometimes they even find the things cute and endearing at first. But when they really think about those things logically (or after they've broken up) - it can sometimes be an awakening moment.

3. Get into the flow of meeting and dating other guys.
I know you find it quite scary, but the more you do it, the less scary it will get.
I also know that - at first - all of the other guys that you meet will pale in comparison with your friend/little brother. Your feelings toward other guys will probably surprise you though.