My friend is going through so much right now. Her mom died just a couple months ago, and her dad told her he does drugs. She is broken, and there is nothing I can do about it.I feel so terrible for not being able to do anything but listen. I want to help her. We only got to know each other some months ago, but already she's my best friend and means the world to me. It scares me how quickly we became best friends, it was literally love at first sight - friendship version. She's the one I go to when I'm hurt, and she tells me everything as well. But I can't help her. It kills me not being able to actually do anything. Also, we've only known each other a couple of months so I haven't had the chance to come out to her. But I don't seem to find one. Everytime we talk, we're either just joking around so that I don't dare drop the bomb on her, or she's telling me something so serious that I cannot change the topic. This makes me feel so selfish. I care about her problems, but I kinda want her to know I'm bi. It's not like I think it'd change anything but it would be better if she knew. Is it selfish of me to wish I could tell her? Is there anything I could do to help her situation?
Is it very terrible of me to point to your signature and say, this? It's just... It's hard to answer your question. We're not ignoring you. I for one wish I could give advice, but the truth is, I'm not sure you can help beyond what you're already doing: giving her someone to talk to, someone who'll listen. I've had friends who hurt themselves, friends who were suicidal, friends with serious problems at home -- and I never could do a thing about it except listen and talk. I like to think it helped. I did it because I cared, and I think caring helps. I know it seems unfair to lay your own burdens (or your sexuality) on someone who has serious problems with their own life. But if you really are close friends, I don't think there's any harm in telling her. It may make her feel closer to you. It may be something else to joke about. I would just avoid, maybe, putting it in a too negative light -- maybe not tell her if it's causing you extreme stress. I suppose that doesn't seem fair, either, but she seems to be in a very hard place and likely doesn't need additional worries right now.
Sometimes you just have to accept there's nothing you can do. Well, you could think of things you'd want her to do if you were in that situation. But sometimes you can't do more than just listening and supporting. It's that sad, yes. And as for telling her, I don't think there's a 'right moment'. Maybe not when she's telling you sth serious, that's definitely not the right moment. And well, it's not a 'serious' topic, is it? So you could just tell her while joking but make sure she gets it. There's never a right moment for coming out. Everyone wonders, so don't worry Good luck
