I've been talking to this kid on a dating site for a few days and I asked if he wanted to exchange numbers to text because I hate checking the site multiple times and day and it crashes on my phone all the time when messaging. His response was that he didn't feel comfortable giving his number out and would prefer to message on there. Now, do you guys think he doesn't like me and just said that so I wouldn't have his number? Or he's just being careful and waiting to see where things go before exchanging numbers? If so how many days or weeks is the norm to message online before going to the next step?
If you have been talking to him for a couple of days, then I would consider this a slight red flag. Phone numbers are clearly not something that you want to broadcast to the general public, but they certainly aren't all that personal. It is extremely easy to block or ignore someone who has your number. I would take this to mean that he is either on the fence or he might not be being genuine with you. If you are primarily the initiator of things in these conversations, then I would recommending stepping back and observing how much effort he puts into this himself.
I agree in general with Gen. One other possibility is that he might be closeted and deathly afraid of anyone finding out. So I'd be cautious, but also consider that there could be an understandable reason.
Yeah. I'm closeted too for the most part so if he's in the same boat I'm clearly willing to work around it. He did mention he's never been in a relationship before and is not sure if he wants a serious relationship or start off as friends, again I can relate. I guess I'll wait a week or so and see how things go before asking him again
A few days is nothing, I've generally only been given or given out phone numbers after a week or so. To me it's a sign of trust and wanting to take things further. I would say, he's just not there yet.
Personally, I don't like phone calls in general. I rarely call people besides family and coworkers, and I much prefer apps because I can silence constant notifications (messages can be very distracting). You might offer to use some third party messaging app that doesn't require using his phone number. Or you can try to set up a date where it would make sense to have a phone number.
^Oh, I definitely wouldn't be calling him. I hate talking to people on the phone haha. I just thought it would be easier to text and talk than talking on the site. I guess only time will tell
