hii. okay, so, to start this, I met this guy who lived across the world from me. we met on instagram, and we instantly started talking and talking and talking, and have been up until maybe a couple months ago. I remember snapping at him, saying that "none of this was real." to this day, I worry and regret a lot of the things I said because I felt that small *click* in my heart that I fear I won't feel with anybody else. but, anyways, here is an extended verson of it all: basically, I met this sweet, generous Romanian guy who was only about a year older than me, and we knew we were meant to be like that. at first, it was sort of a tease game, but then it got serious as time went on. I'd like to say that, in the end, we dated about a year. time went on, and everything was loving and peaceful in our relationship. the problem was that, like many people have experienced, we lived completely across the globe from each other: me in Oregon, and him in Romania. you can't just say "oh haha it's not that hard! just call and/or skype them and text them! it's the same as ANY normal relationship!" because it honestly isn't! the instinct of wanting him next to me was brutal since it was financially and realistically impossible for us. so, after realizing the struggles we had to go through, I told him how I felt about our relationship and how I couldn't do it anymore. he flipped out, saying that I can't leave him and that "I am the only thing he has." to be fair, he was the only thing I had at the time, and I'm sure it was just as hard for me as it was for him. but to give up something so big, and at what cost? this was the first time I had ever felt the love towards somebody else, something real. my concern is that my mistake was to leave him, and that I will never feel that *click* again. my question is: will I ever feel something like that again? I definitely do NOT want to go back to him, however, because he has turned into something similiar to a hostile asshole. we got back together for about a day at most, but things weren't the same. but, again, will I feel the *click* towards somebody new or was he my "soulmate" that I ditched?
Hi! Don't beat yourself up about this, really. Given how he (over)reacted later, I think you did the right thing for both of you. If you thought it was impossible, then you had every reason and right to cut it off. But I am sorry to hear about the break-up and how it went. It must have been hard on you. Even if you believe in the concept of "soul mate," he probably wasn't it, given how it went. And you will feel that click again. I clicked for the first time when I was 15, and didn't click again with someone until I was 18 -- but I did click again. You're young, and believe me, you will find someone else (probably several someone elses) with whom it will be just as amazing. Different, but amazing.
