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Confused about what's going on

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by izzywillynilly, Apr 29, 2015.

  1. izzywillynilly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    11
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    Location:
    NV
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    When I met my fiancée last year, it was with the understanding that he was a MtF transgender who wanted to date women. I was fine with this and supported him.

    The problem later was that irregularly, he would come dressed as a total guy and it would confuse me. I felt like I was with a stranger. No big, I told him that as well.

    On our third month anniversary, we were out at a bookstore. One of his regulars from the store he works at where he's out as a woman approached him and starts a conversation. We are both dressed as women. When the lady asks him who am I, he hesitates then says I was just a friend.

    I was very upset at this as I'm not just a friend, I was his girlfriend. I felt like he was trying to look like a straight woman, afraid of looking gay.

    Another time, we were at a party for one of his friends. There were two other girls that started talking to him. One of them starts talking about me in the third person while looking at me, then places her arm between my partner and I and wedges herself between us, effectively pushing me out of the circle.

    They start talking about weight and he looks to me and insists I compliment the girl who has just been rude to me and doesn't understand why I am upset.

    From random things he's said and experiences we've had so far, I feel like I'm dealing with two very different people.

    The person I fell in love with was the one who was calm, cool, and collected when we were out together or hanging out at our houses.

    I feel like there's this really shallow girl who comes out when we're around other girls and I can't stand whoever that is. I don't know if that's normal or what.

    He's been mostly out for 7-8 years before meeting me. I've also been super supportive of transitioning, telling my family upfront about his journey and making it clear that I won't have anyone disrespect him for it. Have also taken him to family functions from the get-go.

    Can someone please advise?

    ** I refer to my partner as him because it's less confusing. He kept changing his mind about using she and he, so I finally settled on saying he.
     
  2. izzywillynilly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NV
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Can someone please help?

    Like experiences, ideas about what's going on, anything would be greatly appreciated.