Can women be driven to become lesbian?

Sexuality can be fluid, It's also possible that she's still bisexual but is leaning more towards her female attractions. This happens to a lot of bi people I know.

 

That's the key to all of this.

While it is possible somebody could identify as bisexual, but really be one way or the other, there seems to be missing pieces to this puzzle.

You say you didn't make things official, but that you were dating and even pleasing this woman*. Enough folks, if they are seeing you exclusively, may consider that as being official. Just a F.Y.I., for you. But what sticks out to me here is, if you were turning her on and generally having a good time, why would she drop such a bomb?

*I wouldn't qualify that as exactly platonic.

Maybe she wants to let you know, because she trusts you, and that's great. But if we take her comment, as you phrased it, as is, then we run into a very glaring issue:

You say she enjoyed being with you, but she dropped the "tired of finding Mr. Right and getting hurt" line. Doesn't that seem... odd... to you?

That'd be like a parent telling their child, after a fun-filled day of time spent together, "I'm tired of being a parent and the responsibilities, I'm putting you up for adoption." Like, LOL-wut?

I'd talk to her, at least, and see if you cannot get some things clear. Otherwise, you're going to become trapped in your pit of what-ifs and despair, and that isn't good for anybody, especially you.

 

Oh my god.. really? I'd say she just liked the physical contact? If you did something ''wrong'' it did not cause her to be a Lesbian. I've liked girls since I was so young.. Yet I tried dating a guy. Was not right from the start. Btw if it's possible for a woman to be bi at first then become a Lesbian after bad experiences with men then i'd like to point out this might be the case for some gay men? It just seems silly imo.

I believe sexuality is fluid though I know for a fact my sexuality wont change anytime soon. I believe i've always like women like a million times more.. I don't know how I feel about guys though. Pretty ''meh'' to be honest.

You didn't do anything wrong. Don't stress!

 

Okay.. Well maybe she is just confused? I really don't like how she's saying she'll date women because shes sick of men hurting her. Like really? Just go with it man.. She is who she is.

 

You absolutely can. I've a friend who became a lesbian after multiple rapes.

Obviously I'm not insinuating somebody raped this woman, but it shows that sexuality can change due to reasons outside their control.

 

No. If anything, depending on how you feel inside with your gender identity and all that, you could feel insulted by her actions.

Maybe as a bisexual she might prefer a sharp "Tarzan or Jane" dividing line between 2 groups of people that she's attracted to? Maybe you see yourself as just a regular masculine guy, definitely somewhere in the Tarzan group, whereas she made it abundantly clear that on her spectrum, you were located deep in that murky pan~queer zone? And why should you get the dubious honour of being her last-ditch attempt at dating guys before giving up? Wouldn't it be so much nicer if her next choice of date was not only male, but also an all-round cool guy who you look up to? But no, "I'm really lowering my standards here, and if this one doesn't work out, I'm changing sides for good!" :bang:

Obviously I'm just throwing these out as ideas. A less cynical way of looking at it: she was determined to date women anyway, but something about you, that she liked, stopped her for a while.

 

Yes. There are some cases. I know someone. She was sexually abused by her brother and this drove her to have relationships with girls. She had 2 relationships before she met her husband. But until now, she doesnt like it when her husband starts to be romantic and starts to touch her. It reminds her of her past experience.

 

You know, as crazy as it sounds, I think yes. yes it can happen.

 

Hm kinda yes. I considered myself bisexual for a long time before I finally realised that I'm gay.
I was together with guys, had a long-term relationship and I enjoyed it to that time. But more and more I realised that my interest in men faded away and that my attraction towards girls became more. Maybe this strong attraction was always there and just needed time to break out, maybe bisexual was just a needed step for me to progress, I dunno.

But Iet me take you some fear: That totally had nothing to do with the guys I've been with. They haven't done anything wrong or so.
It's just a thing that was concerning me. Developing my true self, explexploring my feelings and my sexual identity.

Maybe you should try to relax and don't worry so much. Focus on your current relationship and enjoy the time with your girl!

(*hug*)

 

No, you cannot. You cannot drive anyone to be a lesbian, or gay or straight or anything. It's NOTHING you did. Trust me on this one.

 

I say women probably aren't 'driven gay'. There is a difference between being frustrated with men and loving women. That being said I do believe sexuality is fluid, not something written in stone. Dating one gender can be just as frustrating as dating another gender. I am assuming she likes both men and women, she is just frustrated with men right now so she rather consider investing time into finding a woman. Her attractions to men and women exist, but her experience is leading her to doing different things at the moment.

In my experience as a lesbian, I never really became frustrated with men in a romantic context. I just loved women.

I will say I am sorry to hear about the break ups you had. Break ups are hard to recover from and leave us feeling discouraged. As far as doing something wrong or doing something to make a person want to break up can only be answered by that individual. There is nothing wrong with improving yourself, you will be a better partner. Take the time you need, but still introduce yourself to new people.