At my old school, I don't think I managed to convince anyone that I was straight. To be fair, I didn't try to act girly, I just said that I was straight whenever anyone asked me (every few months). It was the kind of place where if you at all different in any way, you were gossiped about. Because of this, nearly every student put so much pressure on herself to be as "normal" as possible. I was lucky to have always had my awesome best friend with me. My best friend has always had this incredible confidence in himself. I have always aspired to be half as great as he is. Nevertheless, me and my friend were the strange kids who always got gossiped about, and it messed with me. I understood that my strangeness made the conformists feel uncomfortable around me, every little thing: I worked hard in sports, I didn't cheat on tests, I didn't wear makeup, I didn't have their social anxiety. I swear, you could see how nervous they were. All of the time. They never relaxed. They put so much effort into being the same. There were rumors about me being gay since around 6th grade. The first time I was asked about my sexuality, it was like the moment before the gun goes off in an cross country meet, only worse. Time stopped. Everything was silent. The universe was waiting for me to answer. I chickened out. From then on, I always lied, because I didn't want people to know that I was insecure enough to lie. I was that kid who freaked out all of the worshipers of sameness with my prideful integrity. I was aware that I wasn't convincing anyone that I was straight, but I didn't have the guts to say, "I'm gay." This year, I am at a new school with a much less toxic social environment. I made a promise to myself not to lie anymore and to start coming out to more people than my best friend and some kids at camp I might never see again. A few weeks ago, I decided to come out to my mom on the way to school, having already come out to my best friend, to my dad, and more or less to some kids at camp. I knew that she wasn't homophobic, but she is not really the kind of person to confide in, she is always yelling at me. She was fine with it but sounded surprised and...RETURN OF THE AWKWARD SILENCE FROM OVERNIGHT CAMP! It wasn't as long, though. She asked me how long I had known I was gay and I told her since around 7th grade. And then we were at school. Since then, she had been randomly mentioning that some people I know are gay. It reminds me of that girl from overnight camp who kept bringing up her gay friend. It seems weird to me that my mom seemed genuinely surprised. She had never even suspected that I might not be straight. Weak, lazy, unintelligent conformists at my old school guessed it but my own mother didn't. It troubles me a bit. I don't really know what to think of it.
Not knowing your Mom, I can only guess the reason. Possibly she just never looked at you in that way. She may not have considered you as a sexual being. To some parents, their children are always little asexual beings, they always see them in romper suits. Or she may not have wanted to see it, but that seems unlikely as she is cool with it.
Interesting idea, but I am not sure. Lately (since before my coming out), she has randomly been commenting on how big my butt is.
