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Has mum finally accepted me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by emma7, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. emma7

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    So a long story short ( just in case you haven't read my coming out story ) i tried coming out to my mum but she thought it was a joke.

    But now im pretty open about my sexuality i keep dropping hints to her etc. Also i think she has seen some gay pride stuff iv'e posted on Facebook and never said anything about it so i cant tell if she has accepted me. Yes i know the obvious would be to ask her but after what happened when i did try and come out im just not ready at all.

    but before i tried coming out to her she always used to joke around about boys and that sort of thing but ever since iv'e been hinting shes not said anything so i dont know if anyone else's mum was like this or not.

    Just thought i would post to see if anyone can tell. Thanks ~ :slight_smile:
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Even though she didn't appear to take it seriously, I'm sure she did take it on board really. Very often, parents dismiss our feelings as a "phase" and struggle to accept what they have been told, but your Mum is no longer joking with you about boys so it may well be a sign that she is beginning to accept things.

    It's not easy for us, but it's actually fairly normal for parents to react in a less than supportive way at first. You can read a little bit more about why it happens here: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief

    If we maintain our position (as you have) and don't turn the issue into a major dispute, most parents eventually accept what they have been told. It's quite hard for them as they have to process a lot of personal feelings and let go of some deeply held ideas, but it usually does happen if we are willing to be patient. Fortunately, it is quite rare for parents to completely disown and cut off their children forever, for being LGBT.
     
  3. emma7

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    thanks :slight_smile:

    Based on her "actions" i think it just had to sink in for a bit. I did just back off for about a week or two just to let it sink in.

    I can also relate to the things on the other post you provided. I did feel angry,depressed etc before accepting im gay and in fact that seems to be the same way as my mum was.

    I don't suppose it really helped her being homophobic. I think that's also why it seemed to take a while to sink in.