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Getting back with an ex who still isn't out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by acoop2290, May 5, 2015.

  1. acoop2290

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2014
    Messages:
    29
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    0
    Location:
    Toledo, ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So me and my ex have had a fun run. We have had a lot of ups and downs. But, I know we both care for each other a lot... Anyways, we hung out last night, as friends, as we have been doing for the past two months or so. But, I finally got up the nerve to talk about everything surrounding why we broke up. I felt as if it wasn't so fresh anymore and we both could speak our minds. It went surprisingly well. We both had our faults in the relationship. He wasn't out and I had way too much time on my hands to commit to the relationship. It was a recipe for disaster. I never realized how much pressure I had put on him and this ultimately drove him away. It was the first relationship, of any kind, for him. Anyways, I had asked him if he missed it and he said he sometimes does and we both have to stop ourselves from making a move when we are together. Just, I think he is initially hindered about how pressured he used to feel and I about him not being out. But, the truth is, the feelings are there. I would swear by it. So, now I have a full time job and he is still doing his own thing. We talk all the time and we are mostly in good spirits when we do. I guess my question would be how do we get back together? I have never gotten back with an ex but...i have never wanted to. I want to show him I have changed and that I am not going to put pressure on him... but the whole act of wanting to get back together seems like pressure. All I said last night was "Things are different now. I know it would be better and I would like a second chance." he seemed a little reluctant...I just told him that it all seems like unfair to both of us if we have feelings and we aren't together...I made sure I spoke in a fair tone and reassured him I wasn't going to try and make any moves on him or anything and that I like being his friend...but I know I do want more, it is just up to him. IDK