Hello I am a lesbian with a mom whose a homophobe. I didn't realize I was a lesbian till couple years ago. I didn't know it existed and only knew of "Men and Women". I never wanted to date men and blah blah blah. Then I found out of lesbians through the internet. I started imagining myself with females. I then started a long distant relationship with one, It was really hard because she kept asking me to come out. But the thing was I was still in college. My parents are still providing for my financial state. I don't want to be poor. I still have not come out and I'm now living at home. My mom's friend has turned into a lesbian and shes freaking out. Her friend is being brainwashed by a lady whose scamming her. This enrages her. I once told her I might like girls and she freaked out at the Target Parking lot. She doesn't want this for her kids. It will look bad on her blah blah blah. I can't leave either. I need to save up to move out of the house. Until then I have to deal with her constant "when will you get a boyfriend?" "when will you meet a nice handsome rich tall jewish guy" "Not all men are bad" "You never know until you try it". My dad has nothing against lesbians but he makes the same comments. I don't think my siblings are homophobes either. I think its cause of my moms constant obsession with her looking good. Like having a lesbian daughter is going to make her look bad? I still don't know how im gonna come out after I move out. But I think I'll deal with that when my new gf and I are together and strong.
First, I just want to make it perfectly clear that there's nothing wrong with you. I don't want to be scathing, but your mother is acting extremely self-obsessed and this is entirely on her. Congrats on being out of the closet! ride: Feels better doesn't it? Your mom doesn't seem like the type that will come around easily, if at all. I think you'll find it a lot easier coming out when you meet accepting people in your everyday life. Really, it's a lot easier, I know, I've had such a major shift once. If you have more questions, keep 'em comin'! Take care, honey, proud of you <3 (*hug*)
Im not out of the closet. Im not going to be out of the closet till im financially able to support myself. I need to be prepared incase i get cut off completely. That means 3 more years of saving up money.
I understand where your coming from. I'm in the same situation. Its great that you've been able to handle your mom and her comments. I know how hard that can be. If you don't think you siblings will be homophobic have you thought about coming out to them? If you don't think it's a good idea then of course don't, but it might be beneficial to have someone in your family who supports you. Good luck saving up and hopefully you can get out of your house as soon as possible.
That really sucks, yeah I don't think there is really any good way to deal with homophobic parents just whatever works for your family situation. The best thing really is to surround yourself with friends and family that you can be comfortable and yourself around; it kind of offsets the negative comments. At home I can get by with passive aggressive comments like which gets my mom flustered but keeping my cool and consistent answers usually gets her off my back for a little while. Mom: Why don't you get yourself a boyfriend Me: Yeah, I really should, shouldn't I? Getting a boyfriend to knock me up instead of focusing on school is really the best path for me anyway, huh? I always did say I wanted to follow in your footsteps! I know its not the most respectful, but it certainly makes me feel better
I can't say to that to my mom. I mean she has to handle my sister talking back at her like that. My good friends know and don't care. It's not like they bring it up.
