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Having a hard time finding a bf

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jax12, May 7, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    So I'm at a point in my life where Im looking for another person in my life. For as long as I could remember, I was attracted to guys that were older than me. I guess from a physical standpoint I could appreciate a guy who's got a six pack, but if he lacks maturity or certain features than I'm not really attracted to him. Therefore, I no longer find him attractive. I'm sure many of you can similarity relate to this...

    So the problem is that many guys that I look for aren't really looking for a relationship. It's more about sex in general and leaving it at that. I find that it's difficult for me to find a partner out there who likes younger guys :/

    If I've never found guys my age attractive, does it mean that guys my age simply aren't my type?
     
  2. TeddyV

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    Omg, this is exactly what I think all the time. So relatable :lol:
     
  3. KrazyKav

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    Hey, i know how you feel. I sometimes find being 17 and (kinda) out makes it difficult to meet gay guys anyway and when I do start opening up to the idea of a relationship its gonna be difficult to meet a guy that I'm attracted to and is attracted to me (My type is similar, mature, sensible and buff). And meeting girls is already difficult enough. Oh well....no one said life was gonna be easy :3
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    Sounds like your an old soul in a young body!
     
  5. Acanthophis

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    Same thing here... the annoying thing is that when I do find a guy looking for a relationship, our personalities don't match. Pretty freakin' annoying. Hopefully you find someone though!
     
  6. Jax12

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    Hehe yup, sure sounds like it. If anything, I could care less if the person is not good looking. If our personalities align and then that's all that matters.

    ---------- Post added 7th May 2015 at 08:17 PM ----------

    I hear ya, it's a struggle. It just bothers me that the older guys that I talk to just want sex and nothing more.

    ---------- Post added 7th May 2015 at 08:18 PM ----------

    Very annoying indeed :/
     
  7. kindy14

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    Oh, we are out here...

    While sex is an important component, I want more than just fun in the sack, more then endless random hookups.

    Finding those rare gems who I want to have in my life is a little difficult. Again, a lot of guys just want sex, or a long term relationship. Like there's no inbetween. Either just sex, or they want to settle down and get married.
     
  8. Chip

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    There are plenty of guys your age who are only interested in hookups, but plenty of others who would *love* a committed, healthy relationship. So it may be that if you're finding guys who aren't interested in a relationship, you aren't looking in the right places.

    I don't know how populated the area you live in is, but Meetup, in reasonably populated areas, can be a way to find people with similar interests/hobbies/talents.

    I also wouldn't give up on people your own age; there are plenty of people your age who want the same things you want, and have maturity and common sense. If you trade that for people older, then you're trading for a whole different set of problems that, in many cases, are inherent and are not likely to change, and will pretty likely prevent a long-term, healthy relationship from happening.
     
  9. kindy14

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    And when I say we are out here, I mean guys who want more than hookups.

    I don't think that is relegated to any one particular age group. Most younger guys (18-35) I see wanting a LTR, have been through the hookup stage, or were previously in a relationship and want that back.
     
  10. Jax12

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    ^ I know that there are people out there who are older want more than hookups (and I've met with a couple of them in fact). It's just harder to find, you know?
     
  11. WhiteShadows

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    Well, how old are you? It might be that you only have to wait a little longer before your age group passes the immature phases.

    Oh, and there are definitely mature guys out there interested in younger guys. Although it can be quite difficult to find younger guys who are also mature... So being young but mature can be quite valuable.
     
  12. Jax12

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    I'm 18. I'd like to think that although I'm 18, I act more mature than that which is why I love older guys; they themselves are more mature and they can show me what being mature is like. If they can be my mentor and more than just a fuck buddy, then that's good for me.
     
  13. OGS

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    I know people hate to hear this, but my advise really is to try to focus on other things. I really don't think "looking" works. Build a life that is worth sharing and someone will want to share it. Make friends, cultivate interests and have fun, without a goal in mind.

    I've been with my partner for either 17 or 18 years (we're not sure at this point:lol:slight_smile: and, yes, it's wonderful and it's definitely something I would wish for everyone who wants it. But I was completely out and basically single for five years before I met him. And you know what? It was amazing too. I did wonderful things and had wonderful times with a lot of wonderful people--many of whom are still in my life today.

    If you really are looking for a mature, substantial long term relationship, well, the people who are looking for that aren't looking for someone with a big whole in their life that they can fill. They're looking for people who have bountiful, complete lives that they can share.