So, tonight I was planning to tell my parents that I'm pansexual because they were in a really good mood...despite cracking jokes about me being a lesbian. I told them that i liked boys and my mom got super happy and said she was so glad i realized i was straight and thst shes gonna plan my future wedding... Now i feel like I cant tell them that im bigender or pan with out crushing them.. Help?
I think it's really important that you tell them soon. It will be hard to tell them, but once you do I'm sure you'll feel a lot better just having gotten it over with. It's better to not put it off. Especially if you came out to them before as lesbian. I'm sure that was very hard to do, but at least you got the hardest part out of the way then, right? That probably took a lot of bravery<3 Like I said though, you should do it as soon as possible so they don't get used to the idea too much, because then it will be even harder for you. I know you can do it, hang in there!(*hug*) And I'm sorry to hear they were making jokes about you being a lesbian. It's very wrong of them to do that and perhaps they're just doing that because they're not ready to fully accept it yet, which is a shame. But I think it time, they'll come to see that you are who you are hopefully they'll be kinder to you about it. In the meantime, it's important to be truthful with them. The sooner you do, the sooner they can get used to it. Even if they aren't fully supportive of your sexuality right now, I'm sure they'd want you to be honest with them about this. Also, if you're able to talk to them about it, you may also want to tell them you don't appreciate it when they make jokes about you and it makes you feel like they don't accept you. But like I said, better sooner than later and you'll thank yourself once you do it, even if it is hard at first. But I know you can do it!
I actually never came out to them as a lesbian. They found out because I forgot to log out of an account where I was talking to my other "mom" about it... I was dragged out of the closet in front of my ex gf
Bide your time. All you have to do is say a few a sentences and you know your parents will be devastated again. Jackpot!! *demon laugh* :badgrin: I'm not suggesting that you should be mean to them, but it was all about their broken hearts being fixed again, before you could even finish your sentence. What about you? My advice (which I wish my younger self could have heard), you don't need to keep your parents happy, or unhappy for that matter. A little bit more emotional distance from them might help you become more independent over time. Saying "you shouldn't care so much" is easier said than done because you sound like a naturally caring person. Maybe one way is to keep more secrets. So I say, keep that secret for now. Don't just throw it away for the sake of building closer bonds with your mom. Part of growing up is spending years gradually untangling yourself from that complex relationship with your parents, so that you've got room to be yourself.
