How do u define love? I met a guy last year who I figure is str8, Well I started crushing on him, then I screwed everything up becuz he intimidates me and I didnt know how to talk to him, then he started ignoring me. He wouldnt even talk to me. I let my feelings get in the way of our friendship and I guess he figured I hated him. No matter how hard I try to forget, he always pops into my head. Memories of when we were friends and I was happy just to see his smile. Even if I do forget my feelings, then he appears in my dreams and makes me remember. I feel so sad when hes not around then even worse when I see him, becuz I kno he doesn't care. I wish I could tell him, but I can't. I wish he would hug me and tell me it's alright. If only he could save me from my worst enemy... myself. Am I in love with him? All I can think about is him. He makes me sad, happy, angry, and confused at the same time. I see hot guys, but I don't care becuz nobody is like him. And thats all I want, but I also don't want to get hurt.
I wouldn't say that you're in love with him. My assumption is that you have developed a crush on him (as you said) and that you feel bad because your crush doesn't like you. It's a very common feeling at your age, don't worry. It's tough to forget about crushes, but you should realize that if this guy is straight, there is no possibility of a relationship between the two of you. If you see him at school everyday you probably won't be able to forget about him, but once you stop seeing him on a regular basis, I almost guarantee you'll forget about him. Crushes are annoying haha. That was my least favorite part of high school.
It sounds like you have a very strong attraction to him, which is unfortunate if you think he is straight. There's no easy way to get over someone. It either takes time, or meeting someone else that you like more. There's no easy off switch. I'm sorry that you're in a position like this. Either you're with him and sad because he doesn't share your feelings, or you don't see him and you're sad that he's not around. I see that you're out to your sister - have you talked to her about what you're going through?
