. . . just don't understand or appreciate how hard it is to come out to them. I told my Cath. friend 2 days ago, and he just kinda blew me over as if it was no big deal. Which is a good/bad reaction, depending on how you see it. Truth be told, I am incredibly angry at his reaction. Here are some of the offensive things he said to me: (a) If you were dating a girl, I'd be uncomfortable with it. And you'd make a lot of people uncomfortable. Do I look like I want to be seen as Ms. Badass by dating a woman? Do you think I want to make people feel uncomfortable? Why are you guys uncomfortable with this? I'm not luring in anybody into gayness. They're already gay or bi to begin with. And if 2 sinners sin together, wouldn't it be better than if I dragged a "straight" person into a relationship with me? [I'm calling us sinners because, in my friend's eye, if you have conducted (a) gay dating or (b) gay physical touching in a romantic way or (c) gay intercourse, then you are a sinner] (b) You're lucky to be bi and not gay. You get to choose. What the hell does that even mean? I think gay and bi people face a lot of problems. And it's not like I get to choose who I fall in love with. For me, gender isn't an issue. I just want to be with the one I love, no matter what gender they are. (c) Catholics don't approve of gay marriage or dating because dating implies that you're opening up to the possibility of marriage, and marriage means you want to have children. Sex is divine, and it's a gift from God, so you can't have gay sex. Ah--this one annoys me on a personal level but not a theological level. I totally understand this because it's his religious beliefs, but it is so troubling on so many levels. To think in the 21st century there are people who would practically label gay DATING as a sin, not even gay sex or marriage. (d) And he just totally blew over what I said as being nothing important. Does he f---ing KNOW how hard it was for me to tell him? Sometimes, I just hate this guy. He's so stuck in his own world that he forgets to say something like "thanks for telling me." (e) God. Send me a beautiful woman so I can purposefully live in debauchery and make people uncomfortable. My god. This is the bloody 21st century. Now, some happier news: There ARE groups of people who are Catholic and support gay marriage or female priesthood. On a theological level, it totally breaks tradition (though I personally feel like these traditions hold women and lgbt people back). It totally goes against their teachings because marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman for Catholics. BUT. There are people who seem to have gotten a different calling or message from God and feel like the way society has hurt and treated gays is wrong and these Catholics want to be... progressive. Which I find really ironic but kickASS.
Well, they do seem to have an above-average number of brainwashed zealots among their ranks. So tell him that. What is he, a porcelain doll?! "Uncomfortable" but still composed and clairvoyant enough to know how he'd feel before it even happens. Then again, if you asked him directly "how would you feel/would you be comfortable...?" then that puts him on the spot, so at least he was honest. "Thank you for your kind concern. Will you be there for me and stick up for me when the rest of society gives me a hard time, partly caused by YOUR religious dogma?"
:badgrin: I am sorry your coming out went badly. I know how it feels. I went to a Catholic high school, so I was surrounded by people who thought like him for 4 years.
