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Age gap...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Wardrobe93, May 17, 2015.

  1. Wardrobe93

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    So i met a guy the old fashioned way... well sort of,

    I was out for dinner with my family and the waiter was hot. I looked at him and he looked back. My sister recognised him from school so when I got home I looked him up on Facebook and added him. he accepted, we chatted flirted a little bit and then he asked me how old I was so i said 21. He then said he was 16 (17 in August).

    He still wants to meet me and i mean I want to meet him. Its not illegal or anything and I think I'm merely anxious about societal normality. Although since when has being gay been socially normal ha.

    so guys... is he too young? I liked him because he was hot. I didnt think about his age, he didnt look very young and if he was older than me i wouldnt have cared.

    Advice would be much appreciated
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    a five year age gap may not be that large as guys get older. But the maturity differences between a 16/17 year old and 21 year old are rather large. Obviously, as you suggested, no harm in meeting. Just keep both legal and maturity factors in mind.
     
  3. Wardrobe93

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    yeah to be honest the age gap might become an issue in terms of attraction because of the maturity factor anyway (not that im ever so mature ha) hmmm its weird, never been in this situation before but you make a lot of sense 'OnTheHighway' and its a great argument for people who think its odd for big age gaps ie Tom Daley/Dustin Lance Black because they are both at a mature age
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    My partner and I have a large age gap. But at 44 and 28, while I might be the older one, he is definitely the old soul :slight_smile:
     
  5. indiqo

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    I don't think there's really an age gap there. age is only a number. as someone said, the younger person can be more mature at heart.

    he is almost 17. and at 16 he is legal. if you like him then you should get to know him!
     
  6. Chip

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    There's a lifetime of difference between 44/28 and 21/16. One is potentially possible, the other highly unlikely to work.

    A 16 year old isn't yet an adult emotionally, and there's so much growth and change to go on... so much happens even between 18 and 21, that there's going to be a tremendous amount of imbalance of power, life experience, and most everything else. It's not going to be a healthy relationship.

    You could be friends with him, but I would not recommend, under any circumstances, making it a romantic relationship.
     
  7. Jax12

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    So I've gotten some experience with meeting with older guys where the age gap was quite large.

    One was 50, the other 33, and the last one 42.

    I realize now that my desire for much older men is more like a mentoring relationship which in all honesty is not what I imagined. Age is most certainly just a number, but there's got to be that common ground that both of you can stand on. Out of the 3 men I've met up with, I would definitely pursue the relationship with the 33 year old because we've got more in common like the songs we listen too.

    As long as you guys click and love each other, I don't think it really matters whether it is "potentially possible" or "highly unlikely to work". If you don't give yourself a chance, how will you ever know?
     
    #7 Jax12, May 17, 2015
    Last edited: May 17, 2015
  8. Maddy

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    He's a child. You're an adult. That's the issue. Age gaps among adults, you do you, I don't have much of an opinion. But he's not an adult yet, and I don't think it'd be responsible for you to date him for that reason.
     
  9. Chip

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    ^^qft^^
     
  10. Wardrobe93

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    i didn't go through with it in the end guys. Chips advice made a lot of sense and tbh after chatting to him for a bit longer I realised just generally that because hes 16 hes just not mature enough. I won't lie, a night out if i saw him I'd be all over him but that wont be possible for just over a year ha