I am really embarrassed but I have a snippy attitude! I am a very nice person but I find when it comes to work, or "thing's I'd do" or just at random times, sometimes things irritate me...and I lose control and bitchyness flows through my pearly whites without meaning too or noticing. I have talked to a therapist and we have discussed my tone issues and he doesn't see it. I honestly felt like I lied to him, like...If I don't mean to be snippy, how do I show him!? He's tried tricking me, and I didn't catch on, he told me...but it was like a conflict he tried to create, and I don't have an issue talking nicely throughout a conflict. I only notice my snippiness because sometimes I see people's faces and I think to myself, oh shit...they took offence to that. I am not an insecure person, I don't need everyone to like me and I am not going to cater to overly sensitive people BUT I don't want to be a bitch, and I want to better my attitude for myself. I really feel like no one deserves to be spoken like shit so...I hate that I do it. Any advice?
You have to start by recognising that the issue is with you, rather than with other people. Snappiness and bitchiness is often directed towards other people and it's very easy to identify them as the cause or problem. The fact that you are asking for advice is a positive start. Start by choosing your friends wisely. If you are spending a lot of time in the company of people who are negative or often complaining, you will find yourself increasingly irritated by them. You can't heap the blame on them if you snap, but you can do your best to avoid people/situations that will trigger your attitude. You will have to put some work into changing your attitude and it's important to keep your goals in mind until you notice change taking effect. Some people use visual reminders to help them (like a small note written on the hand). It's inevitable that you will fall back into habit sometimes, but if that happens, don't berate yourself too much - just pick yourself up and start again. If you are presented with a situation that is likely to provoke you, try to pause and take something positive from it. Work on adopting an attitude of gratitude. It's not easy, but try to focus more on what is right and less on what is wrong. Have you considered mindfulness meditation? More and more people are practising mindfulness as a way of effecting positive change to their thought patterns and behaviour. There are lots of resources online, so it might be worth a try. Finally, persevere!
I am more of a blunt person than someone who says things when irritated. people seem to get very offended when I didn't mean to offend. some people can't empathise as easily as others. I try to think about why someone is offended and say the things I have said to myself, to see if I would be offended too. sometimes it's good to say these things to yourself before saying them to someone else.
Honestly, thank you for your words. I will look into mindful meditation in my area and see what comes up! I also really like your idea of a little note on the hand as a constant reminder to be mindful of what I am saying! Since December 2014, I really pulled myself from the majority of my friends and threw myself into working out and getting fit. But now that I am thinking about it, you're right...when it comes to work, people complain about really silly things and they will refuse to do things for people to help someone out no matter if it's a second of their time or a couple minutes (which irritates me immensely). Thank you for your advice. I feel a little bit better about my situation and I look forward to trying your advice! Cheers!
Could you elaborate with some anecdotes? It's hard to tell what you're dealing with without really know, you've only given a generalized description. What are things that typically irritate you, and what kind of responses like word for word do you give people? Only asking because I know a lot of people that say offensive shit without realizing it simply because they are just overly defensive of themselves.
