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Need help, Crazy BF's Mother thinks Im cheating!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by KaydenWidz, May 18, 2015.

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  1. KaydenWidz

    KaydenWidz
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    Ok...So this is ganna probably sound like Jerry Springer up in here, so Im sorry. But I need some advice.

    My best friend and I have been friends for...On gods, 5 or 6 years now? Anyway, We're both pansexual transmen, 15 days apart in age (he's older).

    Well I have a boyfriend. My friend is in a poly relationship with a genderfluid person and another transman. Yeah cool. All happy right?

    Well a while ago I started having very sexual dreams about my friend. And I hve had a crush on him for ...as long as Ive known him. However, he is much better lookin than me IMO so I never pursued it. Also, never been single at the same time. I told him about the dreams and we just chocked it up to, "Yeah he's sexy we get it". Neither of us are going to give up what we have to pursue it. so that too got taken care of.

    But now, Many of my friends, my boyfriend and my bf's mother all think that He and I are banging! My bf makes jokes about it, since Ive already told him thats not the case and he trusts me. So now he thinks of it as a joke. But when his mother comes to me, telling me to make up my mind and stop hurting her son or she'll gut me...WTF do i do?! Im not having sex with my friend. I mean if things were different I wouldnt mind, but he;s too much like a brother to me, especially since I came out as Trans. He;s been there to help me every step of the way. So...How do i convince my BF's crazy mother that I'm not cheating on him with my best friend?!

    Again, sorry if it doesnt make any sence. Kinda complicated and postin this at 3;30am. so...yeah. Thnx
     
    #1 KaydenWidz, May 18, 2015
  2. biisme

    biisme
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    It's impossible to prove a negative to someone. While it's easy to provide proof if you are sleeping with someone, there's no way to provide proof you're not. The only thing you can do is keep telling her that you're being faithful to your boyfriend. Even though it sounds like you might have some romantic feelings for your feelings for your friend, you're not sleeping with him. At the end of the day, your relationship is between you and your boyfriend, not you, him, and his mom.

    Hopefully, she will see with time. You said your boyfriend trusts you, and that's way more important than what his mother thinks. Did you tell your boyfriend what his mom said? He might have a better chance at getting through to her.
     
    #2 biisme, May 18, 2015
  3. awesomeyodais

    awesomeyodais
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    Maybe she only heard some of the jokes out of context/third hand and is imagining the worse? Parents often do silly things with good intention, espcially when it's about their kids.

    It might help if your bf has a talk with his mom, explaining why he sometimes jokes about you and your friend, because you both discussed and acknowledge he's desirable but not going there as you and your bf are happy together. Maybe comment that he regrets joking about it because apparently some people take it seriously and make comments that are hurtful towards him and his bf (you) and your relationship.
     
    #3 awesomeyodais, May 18, 2015
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