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What have I done?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SquidwardT, May 18, 2015.

  1. SquidwardT

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    Guy likes me, we went on one date, with discussion of more. He asked me to prom, I said yes. Now I told him I don't want to be in a serious relationship. Now he is being super dramatic and I am worried I led him on. He is acting like their was more to "us" than I saw, I know it doesn't matter long term but I feel bad, maybe I should have not said anything and just waited until he graduates (1 month). Should I do anything or just wait for him to get over it? Was I wrong in being honest? He is saying I should have said something earlier but we went on one date and hung out a few other times. I guess I don't see the commitment or seriousness that he saw. Gah! Maybe I should go back on what I said and "date" him for a month. I doesn't really matter anyway. I wasn't okay with doing long distance when he leaves for college anyway.
     
  2. SomeNights

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    okay, having been on the other side of this(looking back quite shamefully). Some people do latch on to others in a relationship quite fast. The problem with this is that they latch on to their internal idea of what the other person is supposed to be like, not what they are actually like. which is what I think happened here(unless you guys were close friends already, then ignore everything I'm posting)

    What I would do is one of two things depending on what your impression is of him and how he would handle it 1) just let it go. in time he'll get over it and you guys can talk down the road or have awkward conversations when you meet. 2) Talk with him and lay it out. Ask him why he thought that you guys were so far into the relationship while you've only been on one date and hung out a few times.
     
  3. SquidwardT

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    Thanks for your advice! I was sorta of somewhere between friends and acquientences with him before, certainly not close friends. Also, now I am not sure that I made the right choice, I mean he was bugging me but he mostly stopped what was bugging me and he IS a nice guy and kinda cute. I guess I just didnt think it would be such a big to not want a serious relationship because he will be graduating in less than a month anyway. Anyway, thanks for the tips, I guess Ill have to awkwardly talk to him tomorrow and hope he is not too mad. I still dont want a serious relationship but maybe he'll see the logic in hanging out and such. Gah. Why can't I interact with people properly.

    ---------- Post added 19th May 2015 at 12:03 AM ----------

    Now i think maybe i could have had a good thing if i had just not gone and fucked it up.

    ---------- Post added 19th May 2015 at 12:06 AM ----------

    However, when we did hang out when he seemed to think we were dating, I sort of dreaded it and was uncomfortable but he was really touchy so that could be part of it. I asked him to stop though and he did mostly. Maybe i should have waited to see if i enjoyed hanging out with him more then.
    Hm.
    I hate all these emotional teenage shenanigans.
     
  4. SomeNights

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    There is no "properly" when it comes to relationships(at least not in my book), because everyone has a different rule book. What you and I may consider okay, he may not. That's why before you start dating someone, you should layout the rule book of what is okay and what's not. IE: I'm looking for committed relationship with one person. By communicating this rule, I've made it clear that a one night stand would very much upset me.

    As far as you wanting him now, I'd make sure you actually want to be with him and it's not just "seller's remorse".
     
  5. SquidwardT

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    That is what I am afraid of. How do I tell?
     
  6. robclem21

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    I don't really understand why this dilemma is so serious, aside from the obvious answer that you are teenagers and drama is inherent. There was miscommunication, maybe you led him on, maybe you didn't. Either way, your feelings aren't there and you shouldn't date him because he is pressuring you or because you feel bad. Clearly, you aren't on the same page so just apologize saying that you may have made a mistake and both of you should move on.
     
  7. SomeNights

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    Give it a week or two, see if you're still interested in him or just the thought of him.