So here goes: I have been going through the process of discovering and accepting my sexuality (I'm gay) mostly over the last 2 years. I attend a university that is very supportive of LGBTQ individuals. Most of my close friends (and other friends) know that I am gay. I also have a boyfriend who attends the same university. Two weeks ago, I came out to my parents. I grew up with a Christian background and my parents have always been supportive of my decisions. Recently, I moved back home for the summer. Since moving back home I don't know how to interact with my parents. A week ago, my sister told me that my parents: Don't understand my sexuality Wish I never would have moved away to college (I think they blame the school for me 'being gay') Are embarrassed about telling other people they have a gay son And Feel hurt that I did not come out to them sooner I don't know how to feel about the situation. Since coming out, I am happier and more content than I have ever been. I feel like I can be completely honest with them. However, I don't know how to talk to them and I feel isolated. I feel like they are embarrassed OF me, not just because I am gay. I also feel like I can't tell them about my boyfriend since they have not accepted me being gay and do not understand me being gay. How do I explain what I have gone through? How do I show them that being gay does not change who I am, it just means that I showing them a part of myself they didn't know about before? How do I tell them that going to college didn't cause me to be gay? - it only provided a supportive and encouraging environment which allowed me to fully accept my sexuality. What can I do to feel like they aren't embarrassed of me (for being true to myself)? How do I tell them about my boyfriend?
First of all I would suggest you put your parents in touch with PFLAG (a group that offers support to parents of gay children). Through PFLAG your parents will find understanding and support and they will be able to connect with people who are going through the same as them, or have been there. Check out the website: PFLAG National Second, you could buy a book for them called Beyond Acceptance. It will address many of the questions that are going through their minds right now. You can find it on Amazon, but if you get stuck I can send you a link. It does take some parents time, so please don't lose hope. If they accept support from PFLAG it will be a good start.
Thank you for your advice! I realize that it will take some time for my parents to accept my sexuality; it took me two years, so its unfair to expect them to accept it in two weeks. I just want things to be comfortable again. I want to be able to talk to them about my sexuality or my personal life without feeling like they don't understand what I am saying or don't want to hear what I'm talking about Thank you for suggesting PFLAG. I had not thought about that organization. I recall looking into it though - hopefully it can be of some help. Thanks for your help!
