Questions for people with abusive parents?

Ok, I'm emotionally abused more so than physically.

1. Still do...sadly. I tend to stay with relatives or friends as much as possible.

2. I've stood up for myself by cussing my stepdad out....not a good idea

3. Hid and cried

4. my DS and laptop....

Idk if this helped but....

 

I'd like to say, my parents did not physically or sexually abuse me. It was primarily emotional neglect and a bit of mental abuse. I'm not sure if that makes my contribution any more or less valuable, but here it is:

1) Pretty much until I was 16-17, excluding a few periods where I wasn't around either of my parents or stepfather.

2) I did stand up to them. But my mother either smirked or shrugged it off, while my father just stared and walked off. Sometimes she'd dismiss it with a semi-empathetic remark. Like I said, emotional and mental abuse, but that is partially due to the fact, neither of my parents believed they were doing anything wrong. They made sure I had food, clothes, and a place to sleep. Problem is, they forgot that whole nurturing part...

3) They very rarely "went off on" me, mostly because they had their own lives to tend to. Those few moments I was actually and properly disciplined, I'd walk away and wait until things cooled off, which wasn't too long. So long as I didn't do anything permanently problematic, like a major crime, they didn't much care what I did. This semi-changed when my mother married my ex-stepfather.

With my stepfather, it was typically a waiting game. Either wait for an opportunity to do what I wanted, or to stall him out. I knew he couldn't always watch me, since he had work and he did like to go out with his friends, so it was simply composing myself until those moments occurred. One could argue this, in an indirect way, was me abusing myself -- instead of fixing my problems, I insisted upon maintaining them in spite of others.

4) Cell phones weren't too popular when I was younger, at least not with the majority of other kids. Some had them, yes, but they weren't as valued as they have become nowadays. That said, my parents didn't really care what I did, which was evident by my computer use. Again, so long as I didn't blow up the computer or commit a major crime, they didn't care, as it didn't involve them. So yes, they did allow me to have access to communication, or at least what was available to me at the time.




If you're writing about abuse, do keep in mind, there tends to be 3 types of abuse to go with:

A: The intentionally abusive. This is pretty self-explanatory.
B: The unintentionally abusive. I'd describe my parents as this, for the most part.
C: The righteously abusive. 'This is for your own good/This is the Will of God/etc'.

Each one tends to operate in their own manner, according to their own methods.

 

1. I still live in it somewhat. I'm 23 years old and my mom is verbally abusive and sometimes, when mad enough, physically abusive. She doesn't just hit me whenever she feels like it. It's usually when we get into an argument. She's busted my lip, given me several bruises, dug her nails into my skin, spit in my face, and thrown me against walls. I've been living in this since I was 7.

2. Yes, I've thought about it. I've pushed her off of me once or twice, which caused her to hit me again. And once I slapped her arms to make her get off of me, which caused her to grab me and dig her nails into my arms.

3. I usually yell at her or cry. I don't cry that much. But sometimes I reach my limit and just break down.

4. Yes. My mom bought me a phone when I was 14. I didn't ask for one. She just thought it was a good idea.

I don't think my mom is 100% a bad parent. She's very bitter, has a horrible temper, and has emotional issues. But she was there for me when I had panic attacks that stemmed from my dad and OCD/PTSD. She got me away from my dad, who was a severe alcoholic. I do think my mom loves me, but I don't think she shows it very well. My mom gave me a pretty good life; threw me awesome birthday parties, provided for me, stayed up until midnight some nights to help me with my Math homework, helped me study for teats, helped me with school projects, etc. She was better when I was young. The abuse got worse when she began menopause (I was 15).

I plan on moving out soon. I just have to wait on my salary increase that I'll be getting next month.