is it ok to want to be the "boy" in the relationship?

I feel the same way. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

 

It is perfectly fine to want to be perceived as masculine, dominate, or protective in a relationship.

This, however, is completely different than wanting to be perceived as the man/boy, unless you quite literally want to be seen as a man or boy in regards to gender identity. The nature of being seen as "the man" in a homosexual relationship is that the other individual is viewed as "the woman". Regardless of whether they happen more feminine, this is not a fair dichotomy to create in a relationship. Especially given the fact that the insinuating that comes with been seen as "the woman" in a same-sex relationship is fundamentally about playing into social stigmas and ideas of dependence, submission, and weakness.

Ultimately, it is completely fine to wish to be the more traditionally masculine partner in a relationship, but it is less appropriate to strive to be seen as fulfilling this role of "the man" that inherently creates this contrasting perception of your partner. She should not be limited to this role of "the woman" and all that comes of that. You can strive to be seen more as "a man" without striving to be seen as "the man" in any relationship because that comes with some very problematic connotations.

 

I feel the same way, hehe. That sounds nice. I think it's okay as long as you aren't forceful about it.

Edit: I don't think most lesbian relationships are quite so black and white though. It's something I like to think about, but I figure once I do get into a relationship we'll be about equal overall.

 

Completely okay! I actually prefer to be the girl in the relationship. I love relationship roles. It makes it so interesting and fun for me. :3

 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting this.

There are many relationships like this out there. Some women are more masculine of center and this usually means they feel like they should have a more masculine role in a relationship. This does not mean they wish to be men, just that they wish to show a more masculine side than their partners. A relationship with same sex partners tend to be more equal anyhow, so it would take you really trying hard to be the same as most hetero relationships, where males have more rigid gender roles. Also, two females have both dealt with patriarchy so they will not show masculinity as a male would. Anyhow it has nothing to do with gender roles, and everything to do with honoring who you are, how you are comfortable etc.


If you want to talk, PM me. I am an OFOS Femme partnered with an OFOS Butch.

 

Gen is spot on with his response. It's perfectly okay to want to be chivalrous or traditionally masculine, but I think the line gets drawn in expecting your partner to be something they're not. If she's more traditionally feminine by choice then great, but it shouldn't be an imposed behaviour.

 

I would love to be the princess in relationship, i like bit masculine, tomboy girls. That are chivalry. Also short hair on girl is hot :') with men clothing. Those im bit tall and i would like taller or as tall as i am.