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Is she attracted to me or is it all innocent?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Pops21, May 22, 2015.

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  1. Pops21

    Pops21 Guest

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    For some months I have been wondering if a woman at work innocently likes to joke with me or if there is more to it. She is married, older than me and a senior manager. Im a lesbian who is out at work.

    At a work party some time ago, before she was promoted into senior management, my appearance was brought up and that I don't look gay. She said that if she wasn't married I would be what she would go for, that she thought I was the right mix of male and female which she found sexy and that she thought I was pretty- this was in front of 3 other people. Later walking home from this party with her and this other guy, she brought up sexuality and said it was about the person and not the gender. I admit I had, had a few drinks so can't remember the next sentence but it ended in her saying she had got me.

    Since the party she has been promoted. She hasn't really said a lot since that night but has mentioned stuff like I'm better looking than the woman I'm seeing, which I found a bit rude and strange to say to a coworker. But I mostly thought ok she was just being nice at the party.

    However lately I feel like it's got a bit touchy feely and has started up again, sometimes we punch at each other, pull faces or she pretends to call me names.

    Earlier this week she walked to my desk and said her neck hurt and would i massage it for her. Again today she came up to my desk and told me that her neck hurt. I said I would come over to her and massage it. When I went over to her I started massaging over her clothes but she put her hand down the back of her shirt (through the neck hole) and said no here and then put my hand on her skin. Later in the afternoon I was walking passed her and started massaging her neck as she was saying it still hurt. She started moaning and said she should stop or people will think she is enjoying too much. I laughingly said it would be better with oil and she said that it was getting too kinky. Then she said that she is a bad example of a manager.

    Earlier today she told me that my zipper was undone (total embarrassment) and I said oh so that's where you look when you see me and she said no I check you out all over.

    A few times I have found her looking at me and we hold eye contact for a few seconds. I work in a different office from her and I have notice sometimes she walks through but doesn't stop to talk to anyone in there, even though it's quicker for her to walk a different way to walk outside.

    Is this just normal behaviour between 2 women or no?
     
    #1 Pops21, May 22, 2015
  2. still ill

    still ill
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    To be honest there is no enough context to be fully sure why she acted the way she does. She could just be very open sexually and may be curious about her sexuality and finds it easy to flirt with you/get messages from you, etc. With you being so open about your sexuality I do find it odd that she would be okay with things like you touching her skin... Since I find myself to be a very discrete person I do believe this is odd behavior from a coworker who should know what is okay to say, do, in the workplace. The best thing to do would to let her know that certain comments/actions are not appropriate. She is married too so even if she is questioning you would have to take her husband into consideration. Her life at home may be rough too. Anyways, I hope this helped a bit. Good luck
     
    #2 still ill, May 22, 2015
  3. Pops21

    Pops21 Guest

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    Hi Still Ill thank you for the reply. When you say not enough context, I can provide more but I'm not sure which aspect- the party or the recent stuff with the massage, etc?
     
    #3 Pops21, May 23, 2015
  4. woahthatsboring

    woahthatsboring
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    Maybe she's just open sexually like the previous person mentioned. I find it out that she wanted you to give her a massage and then later moans, that's overly sexual and if she wasn't married I would say she's into you. But that's just the problem! She's married! Don't let this woman hurt you by thinking she cares about you because if she does she wouldnt be flirting and in a marriage. She might not be satisfied sexually in her marriage and she wants more attention and she's getting it from you. Be careful and good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #4 woahthatsboring, May 23, 2015
  5. still ill

    still ill
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    I mean we don't know enough about her childhood/teenage life. We don't know if she had ever questioned her sexuality in the past or if this is something new to her. Either way you should be mindful that she is married.
     
    #5 still ill, May 23, 2015
  6. Michael

    Michael
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    ... A woman acting like that next to me wouldn't need to make her point twice, perhaps not even once...

    ... But stop-stop-stop! ... Coworker... Senior management... Married... That sounds like a lot of trouble.

    I don't think this is innocent at all... How to (re) act is up to you. I wouldn't jump wildly for the reasons I mentioned, however if she were a friend or something else... I wouldn't say no to a good old affaire, but on such matters I'm not a good example of being virtuous.

    Be careful... Workplace can be at times a true slaughterhouse. Don't forget that it's where your money comes from, and you have no idea what might be on her mind.
     
    #6 Michael, May 24, 2015
  7. Debora

    Debora Guest

    Hello :wink:
    She seems to be a straight curious woman, so: RUN AWAY, thoss kind of situations are the worst for a lesbian, because they leave you after they explored their sexuality or even if they don't, because they just want to play, and to feel hungered by the other person. I think we should date just once women like those and then we should disappear, but you shouldn't, because she's a co-worker, and it's better to not to do anything with a co-worker, never mix work with private life, remember.
    Bye bye :wink:
    Debora
     
    #7 Debora, May 24, 2015
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