pretty sure this guy likes me, need to get over him. help.

ok so i have already posted about this before, but im going to copy and paste what i had before so you can get an idea of the situation. im pretty sure he likes me. but if he doesnt it doesnt matter since hes been with a woman for 5 years about, and isnt coming out even if he does like me. i need advice how to get over someone. and i guess if you think he doenst like me you can share that too and whatnot. idk.

also something thats happened since i posted this, i heard he made out with another guy at a party. and he went on to justify it by saying to his girlfriend "so you have never made out with another girl?" she replied with "no." he shaves all his body hair off, all of it since iv seen him strip at partys, not that that neccessarily means hes gay but just saying.

heres the previous post.

"hello everyone, im in need of some advice, im hoping you all have more experience with this than i do since im relatively young, age 23 almost, and i just recently came out to my parents and have never even been on a date because of that. i think im a bisexual male by the way. basically im trying to find out if im setting my hopes up when theirs nothing and reading to much into things, or my friend really does like me. this post might be fairly long so i apologize. i also am going to be general and try to not give out information about the people in my life as i am still very new to all this. i go to a certain town alot during my lifetime. but more so recently. my best friend lives their and shes awesome but its about 2 hours away so i never went up that much. but recently in the past 2 to 3 months iv been going up ALOT. i went up several times as they are much more accepting and i came out and told quite a few of my friends up there i think i was bi. they all accepted it fine. but now i think one of the men may actually like me but its SO hard to tell. their are so many signs but i cant tell if im just reading to much into it because i like him too. im gonna just list the signs that i can think of that have happened in the past 2 to 3 months and hopefully you all can help me understand if im being reasonable or not. hes a friend of my friends that i just met about 6 months ago. but now were pretty close. these are in no particular order just the first ones that come into my head as i write them. also he has a girlfriend and a 4 year old daughter. which before anyone says anything. im not trying to get in between them, normally i wouldnt think of that even. but i feel like i might be being misled by him. normally i would not try to pry into someone elses relationship especially one thats been going on for at least 5 years. but i really feel like hes unhappy and likes me and has hinted at that. however whatever the case ill wait for him to come out and im not gonna pry into his life, i just want to know others oppinions on the matter. he claimes hes straight but.

1. we spent ALOT of time now online. skyping, texting and playing video games togther. so much so that we have spent about 65 hours in the past 3 weeks skyping and playing games alone. i know because steam keeps track of the hours of a certain game played, and we have played almost 40 hours on that alone. we also text a good bit. and when we do text he seems to respond instantly alot. or at least read it right then and their. i realize this time is online and digital but i live 2 hours away as well so its not like i can just be up their and hang out whenever i want.

2. one time he tryed to hook me and his cousin up to have sex. im a virgin and i was scared as well as i didnt even know the guy but after declining he got pretty upset and emotional saying how he "spent all this time for me". which i thought was kinda weird. maybe he was trying to see if i would have sex since im a virgin and he knows? idk

3. he is very VERY raunchy when drinking, even when not drinking and pretty sober he still acts and talks gay but says hes joking. his friends all say hes just "confortable with his sexuality" and iv never been a big party guy so im not around this much, but when he has enough to drink he will even wip out his dick and whatnot. or grind on guys, though he normally doesnt have his dick out when he grinds on them his pants are up. but he does this VERY commonly. its happened multiple times. he also calls me "boo" alot in texts and on skype. and talks dirty alot to me. even though he says hes joking. when i reply back in a dirty manner he used to say "Ew" or "no" but that has kinda switched to a "maybe" now in his texts. a few times he has said "maybe" even though im sure if i asked him he would just say he was joking about it.

4. when we skype its normally for at LEAST an hour, sometimes 3 hours and he sometimes doenst want to leave. when we do leave its because his girlfriend is asking him to go places or do stuff and hes spending time with me, which i also find odd since its his gf. also i frequently hear him and his girfriend kinda bickering in the background on skype.

5. one night after a party he had a bit to drink and secretly wrote on a wii u pad "im gay, super gay, like backstreet gay" and then quickly erased it after showing me it, it was only me and him on the couch. when i asked him about it later though he said he wanted to input that as the highscore to the game mario kart 8 but the game wouldnt let him. i thought thats pretty believable since they tend to censor things and maybe gay wouldnt be allowed. but it also made me curious.

6. again about the skype thing, he stays up late and last night i went to bed at around 1 am and texted him i couldnt stay up any later i was tired and for him to text me if he wanted and i would probably hear it and wake up or call me. i was very tired so i didnt hear him but he texted me 69 times mostly random stuff from auto correct but some was actual texts. also he called me 3 times.

7. he liked a photo of mine from over a year and a half ago on facebook. which told me he was scrolling through my pictures at the very least. when i asked him about it just cause i was curious he denied ever even going on my photos and said it was a "glitch" by facebook.

8. one night at the bar he joked and said "it will be like we are making out" to his girlfriend and she responded "we dont make out that often hun". obviously this was in somewhat playful tones, but it makes me wonder with how they act when im on skype and she said they dont make out that often if they are kinda not going to strong anymore. also makes me wonder since hes 24 almost and his daughter is over 4 that means he got her pregnant at like age 18 or 19 since it takes time for the baby to develop. maybe he just sayed with her because it was the right thing to do and social pressure? i mean that seems pretty young to me and maybe he does like me?

9. apparently theirs this thing called "ball tapping" where its fun to try to hit the other mans balls. he does it to alot of guys and me included, also he slaps guys butts like i mentioned earlier in him acting gay and raunchy. one time we were almost wrestling trying to ball tap each other and all i can remember was him smiling and laughing and we were holding each others arms away to try to keep each other from ball tapping the other. it was almost like a 10-15 second wrestling match in a way.

anyway im just wondering if im reading to much into this, but we are spending alot of time together i feel, maybe even as much as his girlfiend do even though its digital with skype and texts. heck i feel he treats me as a priority over her sometimes, like how i mentioned when we skype and he doens't want to leave sometimes even when his gf wants to head out for the night. any thoughts on this and advice? regardless im not trying to break them up or get in their life, however if he is unhappy and does eventually come out i could only date him if he broke up with his gf. not trying to get inbetween them, am i reading to much into all this? thanks. also recently we spent 9 hours together on valentines day, as well as 6 hours the next day, but then when i confronted him about a certain converstation that i felt he was hinting at being gay he denied ever even saying it and i showed him the pictures of him saying "he wanted a deep deep deep hole" for a well. i assumed he was hinting at anal and just said he wanted a "well" to hide it. but then he says hes straight. so basically i was hurt that he would lead me on and then be was kinda upset and mean about it after i confronted him, so i let it go and told myself if he doenst want me he doesnt want me.

but then the NEXT day i didnt text him at all. probably the only day in the last 3 weeks we hadnt talked at all and he FLIPS OUT. he says. "sorrry you must be to ggod to talk to me,idc for your childish games" he also seemed hurt and sad that i didnt text him because he repeated the characters in "sorry" and "good". i told him i was out doing errands and just got home and that he didnt sent me any messages to reply back to so how was i being too good for him and to talk to him? he replied back with "it felt like that. sorry buddy". basically im so confused as to why a straight guy in a long term relationship with a women and a child would act this way, its clear from what he said that he looks forward to my messages, so much so that after 1 day of not messaging he got upset since he expected me to send a few at least like normal but i didnt and he got upset. do you think he likes me? or is just joking like he says when he flirts with me? we still talk every day for the past 2 days, after this whole incident we still chat on skype and he calls me on skype. but im not the one whos texting first or calling him on skype first the past 2 days and he still flirts on skype even after this whole charade... hes so confusing. i need advice."

thats it. so i got some mixed reactions, some claiming hes super gay, others saying he might not be. but the one thing they said is hes in a relationship and i need to respect that and it doesnt matter because he couldnt date me if hes in a relationship already. how do i stop having feelings for him though?? thanks. its hard.

 

thanks so much for reading all that first of all. it was crazy long so i appreciate you reading any of it. sometimes it just helps to vent and have others hear whats happening.
also i think it helps to reassure me mentally and that im not crazy for thinking he likes me.

also, i dont remember if i posted it in that huge paragraph but he knows im gay, and that i like him. alot. iv thought he was hinting at coming out through texts before many times (like the "i need a deep deep hole" thing, or the "im gay, super gay, like backstreet gay" thing on the wii u pad.) and asked him if he was gay knowing that i was, but he always goes into defensive mode like you mentioned.

i know i just posted this yesterday, but this actually happened about 2 months ago. like i mentioned i copy and pasted it last night, and didnt have time to change much or add much. but over the past 3 months iv been to the town i mentioned 3 times, and havn't seen him once. i still go because i have other friends their like i mentioned. hes a roofer. so summer is a good time i hear for them since they dont have much work around the seasons, and he says hes been super super busy. so it made sense he didnt have time to skype me every day or call every day like before. also he had no job when he did that because it was still close to winter. he does still text me back, but i have to initiate the conversation like "hey ima be in town you want to hang" or something, he texted me again last night in response so hes not completely ingnoring me, but he said he has like 12 hour days. and physical labor is hard.

also if he really was questioning he sexuality for those few months prior to this, then maybe this is also his way of not thinking about it for the time. i mean if i worked 12 hours of physical labor id be tired too you know?

just typing this shows that i havnt gotten over him completely and i guess im still trying to convince myself that he does like me, for one, and that two, it will work out between me and him somehow...

but at the moment we havnt seen each other in about 2-3 months physically and dont text each other much, which is probably why im not obsessing over him like i used to. spending THAT much time EVERY day togther for like 2 months is probably why i developed feelings for him in the first place without noticing it. 4 hours on average a day every day is alot of time together even if it is skype.

idk if i should try to abandon my feelings completely or not. but i think ima still stay friends with him for now at least. as my feelings are pretty under control since we havnt seen each other in a while. however i just kept feeling guilty for having any feelings at all since hes in a relationship, but you said its not my fault. so that helped alot thanks. i am going up to the town in about a week to hang with the same group of friends potentially. things are spontanious so you never know who comes to a party or who doesnt. but if i see him ill post about it here later on.

typing that made me think about a time when he came through the door to a party and i was laying on the couch next to it with my head down, and he put his hand on my head and weaved his hand back in forth through my hair asking how my day was. made me feel SO good because it made me feel like he actually showed that he cared about me and how my day was...lol. i kinda like him alot.

what are your thoughts, likes boys? or anyone else that read this. im really glad that i joined this forum as it helps to have people hear you out. im not completely out of the closet yet, my parents and alot of my close friends know. but thats about it. i plan to come out entirly soon though. when im ready.

 

thanks and yea i know right! i was sooo happy when he did that but then got super bummed when he denied being gay and said it was just to make his friend look gay. we were at a friends house/party, alone at the time. and he said he just wanted to put it on my friends profile so he looked gay...i was like. really?!?! lol.

also when he wrote "im gay, super gay, like backstreet gay" admitingly i wasnt too sure what backstreet meant, i thought it meant secretly but wasnt sure at the time, so i texted his phone when he left the room and asked him what it meant and i said "like backstreet boys?" and then when i was outside alone with him i think he was taking a smoke. he said it was just a joke, like backstreet boys and he wasnt serious. it wasnt till a few days later when i texted him that he changed the story and said it was to make his friend look gay...suspicous lol.

and yea im not over him by a long shot. i really dont want my feelings to go away if im honest about it, because again i feel like he might one day come out. and then if i dont feel the same way back then what? i would of missed the chance.

also if i try to get over him and date others in the future that scares me too. because i wont date anyone till im 100% over him. because that wouldnt be fair to the person i would be with, to be half their and half not for them. also i would NEVER date someone just to make it look like im living a good life and try to make someone jealous. or make him possibly see the life he could have.

so until im over him, (which might be a while...lol) im not gonna take interest in anyone else or try to date anyone. never been on a date before anyway... been single my whole life so i think i can manage to wait a year or 2 more to see if this goes anywhere... if not. oh well

im really indecisive lol. this post was to get help to get over him, now i think my feelings just came back again not that they ever left completely...

 

ok, so i kinda wanted to reply to this to bump it to the top of the forum again. basically its been another 6 months and the guy is still on my mind quite alot. well, he was off my mind for a bit but then i found out from a close friend that is friends with both of us said something that has made me start to think about him again.

i had gone to visit the town mentioned several times in the past 6 or 7 months, and each time him and his girlfriend were never together, i havnt seen him physically for about 7 months, we have texted very short things though over that time. but i have seen his girlfriend about 4 different times over the 6 months and wondered why they were never together, my friend said they basically are not "together" anymore. he said its a weird situation and that they fight alot. like how i mentioned i heard them fight alot on skype in point 4 and point 8.

i just dont know anymore. i guess now my question im asking is, IF they do officially break up, would it be appropirate to try to be friends with him again? i mean, the girlfriend is already pretty chill with me so i dont think shes mad at me anymore. obviously i want to be more than friends with this dude as well, and i think its pretty clear he is at least BI because of all the points mentioned above, as well as i have seen him checking out guys at bars. the eyes don't really lie, and it happened alot.

maybe im just overly obsessing about this dude, i probably am, but he was my first crush i and i really feel he did like me back, but due to circumstances, having a child and not out of the closet yet, i feel he didnt act on it as much as he wanted to. i just know its been almost a year and my feelings havn't really gone away. iv also tried online dating to get my mind off him but its not helping much...