Hi all, Im new to this forum. I hope you can help me out with a strange situation. First of all, Im not out of the closet for most people, maybe that will help out. So, 3 months ago I started to cooperate with one girl from different company on a project. I dont know how long will we be working together on this thing, so lets call it indefinetely. As we had our first and second coffee, I liked her and I have a huge crush on her. I noticed some signals from her behalf - playing with her hair, staring at me, always smiling when talking to me, giving me compliments etc) and also our communication is insane, I've never felt such a strong connection to a person like that. There was also this cute thing I did for her - before she went on a long trip I send her a photoshoped photo that made her laugh - it was connected to where she was going. After that Ive added her on Facebook and when she came back we went to another coffee - this one wasnt so business related. But, during that coffee, I mentioned I have to educate a few men from one company and she said "I hope they wont be handsome." I didnt say a thing, just smiled, and she continue, "I dont know, I have some gay friends, but I dont think I could ever be with a girl." She also said that once she got carried away and ask a girl about her boyfriend when it turned out that that girl had a girlfriend. So, my guess here is that she maybe got some vibe from me or that she wanted to check how I feel about it, I dont know. What is your opinion on this? I was actually quite shocked since we never went that personal so I did the worst thing and just smiled and said: "You never can tell, right?". At that moment I really felt I have no chance with her so I took a step back. But, she is still showing me some signs she likes me. She emails me and calls when there is no right reason to email me or to call. She also did one unbelievable thing - she wants to reffer me as a great job candidate for her company. I dont know why she would do that. Im really in a mess cause I really like her but I dont understand her behaviour. Maybe its not important but also not irrelevant - she keeps on liking my stuff on Facebook and I can see clearly that she checks my profile too (she posted a link to a song that I posted two days ago). I know that this sounds maybe childlish but I dont know how to act around her. And I want to flirt with her so badly. What is your opinion on this messed up situation?
Hi foodielover! I don't think this is a messed-up situation. Sounds like you've met a pretty cool girl -- and the only thing stopping you from fully enjoying that is that you really like her. You might be obsessing over this a little too much! You can flirt with her, but if she's straight, it will probably go over her head. My advice to you, if the situation continues, would be to come out to her, without specifically telling her you like her. You probably don't want to make a big deal out of telling her, especially if you're not extremely close, but next time she mentions gay friends, or something like that, you could easily slip it into the conversation. That way if she's into girls and interested, she'll know it's a possibility. If she's straight, which she could be, she won't say anything much and you'll know, so maybe you can move on. Of course, there's also the fact that your relationship is work-related, and you may not want to be out in the workplace, so that's something to consider.
Hi, tnx for replying. Yes, the problem is that we are work related and cause of this I cant just ask her out or something. So, basically Im looking for a way to find out how she feels without letting her know that Im gay.
