We met a few years back and became friends from work. We were in the same department. She was the new girl and I was assigned to train her. The moment I saw her I was instantly attracted to her, but not the usual "Damn, shes hot" attraction. I knew at the moment she was the one for me. I was drawn to her... Of course I didn't show this and kept it totally professional for the first few weeks we were together. Everything was completely work related. Because we worked so many hours together we discovered in conversation we actually had a whole lot in common. All the while I knew I couldn't ask her on a date or make a move because she was dating a guy at the time and mentioned in conversation that she, although very accepting of homosexuality, was never attracted to women. Once that was said I decided not to pursue or even have the idea of being romantic with her. Besides, she was too pretty for me anyways I thought... Things progressed, our friendship grew closer, we shared our deepest darkest secrets and spent and still continue to spend a great amount of time together.. during this time she has had a few failed relationships with a few assholes. I was the friend who she would come running to, to cry on my shoulder. The issue is, although she has stated she is not gay, or even thought of having feelings for another woman there has been many times together where she would say questionable things to me and give me mixed signals.. for instance she would say things like "Years from now, when we're old and gray, it will be just you and me" or "I feel like we're soulmates". She always stares deep into my eyes when talking to me, she gets jealous when I attempt to do things with anyone, or date anyone else..she is currently taking a break from dating anyone else because she says she "already has all the things she's looking for" we also do everything that a healthy couple does together, dinner, movies, grocery shopping, accompanying each other for doctors appointments, you name it... everything except sexual contact. She knows of my sexuality and a few of my past relationships but I have never confessed how I feel about her on a romantic level. I always express that my feelings to her are just platonic. Apart of me feels like I might be misreading her signals because of my strong feelings towards her and that she might just be comfortable with me which is why she says and does the things she does. Also, I haven't dated anyone else. I'm holding myself back because we spend so much time together i don't really have time for anyone else.. also, I'm hoping that maybe one day her and I will be together..it's been over a year that I haven't dated or talked to anyone because my friend is all i want. Either way I have to get over her.. I can't torture myself like this anymore. My questions is, should I confess that I'm in love with her and risk losing a really good friendship, or should I secretly get over her, keep her as a friend but start dating other people... I know this might sound like common sense but i'm hoping that people from the outside looking in, reading my story and help me snap out of this spell she has me under.
