online dating websites and thoughts.

It's totally ok, but you need to be careful - as you always would be when meeting people you don't know well. Also you need to know exactly what you want/what you are willing to do, in advance. Some 'dating' sites and apps are really just about hookups. Which is also totally fine if that's what you want, but if you want to find a long term relationship, you need to be clear about that, both in your own mind and with anyone you meet.

And of course normal safety rules apply. Let someone know where you are going and all that. But online dating is really no different to pulling someone in a bar, is it?

 

Me and one of my closest friends both be our boyfriends online, through dating sites and stuff. My mum met her husband online. I feel it has huge potential.

I think the important thing is to consider the limitations.

1) Taking to someone online is very different to in person. Don't expect it to feel the same even if you've been talking a while. You do have to re discover someone. Relationships grow.

2) Be safe. When my friend went on her first date, it was at a busy shopping centre in the daytime and I went to and she texted me regularly so i knew she was safe etc. similar for my first date, I took him to an event where I knew pretty much everyone there, if only a little and felt safe and had friends on call. Do what you have to to stay safe, as you do not know this person. I agree that mostly this is not a problem, but be prepared for the one time it isn't, or you will regret it.

3) It's not instant. Sure, you might get lucky, but like everything in life it doesn't always work out, and the person for you might not be there yet.

4) Some people aren't looking for the same thing. If you both just want sex? Cool. But if one of you is looking for something more long lasting, just remember that cheap apps are a lot more likely to be hook ups.

5) Not everyone goes on dating sites. In theory, your perfect person, or one of them, might not even be on there. The people you see on there are not the only ones out there.

I'm pretty shy and introverted, but I still do a lot of things to meet people. But it can be very difficult to even then. I say go for it. Just don't rely on it. Make it a bonus not a reason to live, if you get what I mean - don't get disheartened if you don't meet anyone that way as not everyone goes on dating sites. There are more people out there than are listed remember.

It really sucks that your family aren't supportive. Hopefully they'll get better/used to the idea over time. But it's your life, you should live it not them

Good luck

 

Dating websites/apps can go either way. As was mentioned before, they tend to be for hookups but there others like you who go onto those websites. If hookups is what you're looking for, you won't have trouble finding that. However it is important to realise that finding a relationship on those places will be a little more difficult and there is some inevitable hurt along the way.

I used an app to find my boyfriend, I wasn't looking for hookups and I was just looking to at least chat to guys to start getting my foot in the door of the dating world. Six months later, we're still together.

 

Well, anything could happen. But there are some rules you should follow when meeting someone in person for the first time:

- Trust your gut feeling. If you don't think they're genuinely who they say they are, don't meet them.

- Meet in a well-lit place with a good amount of people, like a busy shopping centre during the day, a busy coffee place, etc. However try not to make it too loud, it can spoil the date if you can't hear each other.

- Let a friend know where you are going and when, so someone knows your whereabouts. Make sure to text them on your way, when you arrive, when you leave and when you arrive home for maximum safety.

Meeting during the night isn't something I would recommend. If you have to do it, avoid all unpopulated areas. Do not agree to meet somewhere quiet and travel together. Don't get into anyone else's car. Just meet at the busy place and when you leave travel by yourself back to a safe and familiar place (eg home).

This advice is not intended to scare you or make you think that all people you meet are going to hurt you. There's no harm in setting boundaries to protect yourself. If someone you meet asks you to do something you see potential danger in, say no and be stubborn about it. Don't put yourself in a situation you could regret. Be alert, be vigilant, and be safe.

 

It is bad to get into someone else's car because once you are there you have no control over where you go/what you do (unless you are willing to jump out of a high speed car, even then its possible you may not be able to unlock doors). Anyway I digress. Generally, on a first date with someone you have never met before, you should meet them at a specified place and not let them pick you up.

I wouldn't go for a walk in a secluded area. Meet somewhere you can chat but others will be around. Getting lost is not the issue, the fact that he may be stronger and able to overpower you is the issue. Staying safe and building trust is important on the first date. Not seclusion and privacy. If things go well, then there will lots of time for that down the road. I would suggest a coffee shop (maybe with a patio so you can still be oustide) or anything like that. Something where you are in clear sight of others, without necessarily being surrounded by people.

Meeting someone for the first time is all about being in control, and allowing yourself to make all decisions that are best for you.

 

6pm is a good time to meet. Do not get into his car because you surrender control over the location to which you go. He could take you anywhere so it's better that you protect yourself for now.

As for the woods, it's not a good idea. There won't be a lot of people, no security cameras, the trees will make it more difficult for other people to see you. You want to go somewhere safe and populated where it is more difficult for something to happen to you. The things you want to check against are: an open space so you can be spotted easily; a good amount of people around for safety purposes; good lighting so you can be seen; something close to your house so you can get home quickly (but not too close that you could get followed).

Always make your safety the top priority. You never know what someone's ulterior intentions are. I have made the mistake of not being stubborn to protect my safety and as a result I got sexually assaulted. All of this advice is intended to make sure you are okay -- please keep yourself safe.

I would suggest meeting at a coffee house or a restaurant. Those places are a lot safer than the woods. Meet at the location at the time, travel by yourself to and from, and be stubborn with your restrictions.

 

Bowling is a great option. If you don't want people to see you, go a few towns over. I'm not completely out of the closet so my boyfriend living half way across the city has been great to stop an accidental coming out before I was ready.