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My friends outed me! I'm really scared and help.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by colyol, May 25, 2015.

  1. colyol

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Arkansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So, let me introduce myself. I won't tell my name, but I am 14 years old, I'm a guy (I think it already says that on my profile thingy), I also won't sate where I live because I'm really paranoid, I am really, really in the closet, I've only told one of my friends (lets call him john) that I am bi, but I knew he'd understand because he's gay. So other than that I have told nobody about my orientation. So now let me get to the story.
    One night, unbeknownst to me my mom took my phone and started chatting with John for some reason. My parents are really homophobic, and my mother has had suspicions about john being gay, so this morning i checked my phone and that's when I discovered her chatting session with my friend. My mother had asked whether he was gay. He, for some unknown freaking reason said YES. I just read on to discover that he had said that I am bi too, like, who is he to out me? I got so angry. Then my mom confronted me at the dinner told me about her conversation with john. I pretended to have no idea about it. I am so scared. I don't know what to do. I wasn't planning to tell my parents about this until I have found my own place. I've read stuff about LGBT kids being kicked out of their parents house, so I got really scared but I managed not to show me.

    So, she asked me straight up whether john was gay, I said no, but john, like the complete fucking idiot that he is told my mother during that conversation that he had told me about him being gay a year ago. I came up with an excuse and she believed it. Then she got straight to the point if I was bi. She wan't mad, she looked kinda worried, I laughed and asked her if she was serious. I tried to pretend that what she was saying was ridiculous. She kind of believed me but she still was suspicious. Then she started talking about how it was a disease and a mental illness (I almost genuinely laughed when she said that). Then she said she told my father about this. I got really scared because- I'm sorry if this makes me a bad person but- I don't like my dad. I'm not going to go into why, but I knew that that kind of conversation with him was going to be very awkward and scary because he is a HUGE homophobe. Even the country where I live is really homophobic. I mean I was sent to the principals office for saying the word gay once. I didn't even use it in a bad way. I just said "that guy might be gay" and everyone gasped and i was like wtf? Anyway, I was really scared because I don't know what my parents will do, they're already pissed at me for other things and this might be the final straw. Please tell me what can I do, lie or something, I don't care. But one thing I won't his tell them truth. Please, please help me. I'm in despair. :tears:
     
  2. Camel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2015
    Messages:
    339
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    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't despair. I know saying 'its not the end of the world' doesn't help much, because it does seem like the end of the world. But, actually, it really isn't.

    Obviously, I don't know what the exact situation is. But my guess is this will pass. There may be a bit of a fight with your parents, but what can they actually do, or prove? If you want to brazen it out, you probably have a good chance of getting away with it. Say that you told John you were bi as a joke or something. Or that John is well known for making stuff up.

    On the other hand, you could own it. Say hell yeah, I'm bi. So what? What's the worst that can happen? But that's up to you. Don't feel you have to come out until you are ready.
     
  3. katwat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2014
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    Location:
    the middle of no-where, Missouri
    Sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Also sorry that your parents are not supportive.

    You really need to talk to your friend and tell him that he caused you a world of problems. Let him know that he has no right to out you. It is your life and you decision who to tell and when and how to tell them.

    I hope everything calms down for you soon. I really hope that when you are ready to come out you are met with love and support.

    Good luck