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2 Friends Ruined This Year For Me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DylaNolan, May 26, 2015.

  1. DylaNolan

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    Hey There !
    I'm DylaNolan,Student in 11th grade and I only found out about my bisexuality in last Winter. I told my close family and some friends.
    The 1st frind I told was a girl in my classroom called D. D's Reaction was great ! she gave me a hug and everything,and we did not talk about it ever since,but it's all good as long as I did not lose her.
    The second friend I told was the guy that sat next to me in class. Let's call him G,we were best friends back then. last year he lost a close family member,I went out with him every week untill 1:00 am to cheer him up,I was the only 1 who managed to make him laugh and get him out of the mood he was sinking in. so when the year started we sat togather,I had doubts about telling him because I know he comes from a religious family,but I though that we have been through a lot and he would be okay with it.
    so when the topic of LGBT came out he said this : "Eww ! If my son was gay I would hit him and kick him out,and being Bi is even wrose ! "
    what a horrible thing to say,right? I got so angry,because some kids acutaly going through the stuff he said he will do ! who gives him the right to say those things? who does he think he is?!
    I got angry and I came out to him - It was stupid thing to do and I should have kept my mouth shut,but I could not after what he said.

    He was shocked,could barely speak. but he said it will take some time to get used to it. I decided not to bring it up anymore with him. at least untill things gets better.
    They didn't. he stopped sitting next to me in class,he stopped speaking to me,when I tried to make some jokes with him like we used to do he looked at me with a 'what a freak' look on his face. It's fine,homophobic people are everywhere. but here comes the wrost part,yay !

    D and I were never the same afterwards,my other friends said she had a crush on me,maybe because of that? I don't know. we have our moments where we are laughing and stuff,but it always feels like it will never be the same. iwe also had a fight because I made a joke about a celebrity she likes and she went compleatly nuts,willing to not speak to me again because of this person. I told her I won't make any jokes about this celebrity anymore,and that was it.
    So I felt like D kinda took a step back and replaced me..WITH G ! She knew all about his reaction,yet still went on her way and become his best friend.
    I felt betrayed,I felt angry,I still do. my friends are like a family to me and I would do anything for them,I would never do what she did,she knew how he hurt me,she know how insaulted I was from his reaction.

    Now these two are best friends, D and I rarely talk, and G is just a douchbag.

    How to get over this feeling? :frowning2: these last couple of months were hell on earth for me..what to do?

    Thank you so much for reading,and sorry for bad english <3
     
  2. bingostring

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    Well.. they are both douchebags if you ask me - and belong together
    Lets hope they marry and have six douchebagettes and a douchemobile and live happily ever after in douchebagland

    seriously… D has some explaining to do, and has been rotten to you
    while G is just a prize … a-hole

    it was good you came out to him.. it will make him think twice in the future about opening his bigoted mouth on LGBT issues

    it is possible his reaction was because you represent a threat to him…
    - maybe he is closeted and wants to stay that way
    - or he is just an out and out homophobe
    either way it explains his distancing from you

    and after all the support you gave him - its pretty crap behaviour

    whilst you may want to repair the damage (who can blame you // this stuff can really hurt) they can't be forced in to anything and you may just have to swallow it and move on to better people

    time may heal and G or D may come back in good time… but don't let it eat you up while you are waiting. There are genuine people out there just waiting to get to know you
     
  3. Awesome

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    I am very sorry that that happened to you. I will give my best advice.

    You are giving them power over your self-confidence by putting too much focus on their opinions of you. You are openly bi in an environment with some people who are not accepting: that takes guts. You should be proud. Will yourself to be confident. If you know of anyone in your life who you could talk to about your struggle, then I think that would be beneficial to you.
     
  4. Lazuri

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    As far as I'm concerned, she's a selfish bitch, he's an ashole and they both deserve each other. Try to find new friends that like you for you. If any of the other two come to their senses, then by all means, give them a chance, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
     
  5. DylaNolan

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    Hey, thank you all so much for your responses. I decided to forget about them for good if things stay they way they are now. About G I have no hope that something will change.
    On the other hand. One of D's best friends is gay, that is why I am having trouble to understand her, she talks with that friend of her. But not with me? Maybe it was because of our fight ? D and her LGBT friend both like that celebrity she fought with me about, but we talked since that fight and it was normal..I really don't know what to think anymore.
     
  6. wasgij

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    You mentioned she had a crush on you? It could be avoidance because of that.
     
  7. sweetfemme90

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    Hey there. Remember this, when you came out as bi last winter, nothing about you changed. You are still you! When your friends hung out with you, you were always bisexual. So you didn't change, it was them that changed. Unfortunately we cannot force people to like us and be our friends. I am really sorry you experienced this, and after all the support you had given to your friend with their issues I can only imagine you are angry and feeling upset towards them. I don't understand why they didn't respond as a loving friend much like you did when they had their own issues.

    If I were you I would consider finding an LGBT crowd to hang out with. Whether it be a school club or community group. You will have the opportunity to meet some people close to your own age, maybe make some friends, or even meet a few cuties :wink:

    As for the title of your post, "2 Friends Ruined This Year For Me". Don't allow them to ruin the entire year for you. When you have thoughts like that you are giving straight people the power to control your life and destroy it's meaning. Make this year a great one. When we find out where people stand on issues important to us, they act as a filter. You being bisexual has given you this filter to get rid of people in your life who are toxic and not really good at being friends. You need a strong and solid group of friends. So thanks to your new filter you are able to get rid of toxic people! This gives room to make new friends.

    Of course feeling sad, angry, upset, and disappointed is a reality. I wouldn't shove those feelings deep down. So you did the right thing by posting on EC to get some support. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, I just am concerned about you getting swept away by all this. Remember there are good people out there. You just have to find them :slight_smile: