Infatuated with my Professor?

So, I'm a 24,soon to be 25, year old Gay man and I am developing this infatuation with my 40 year old professor at university.


He's INCREDIBLY sweet,charming, attentive, caring,kind,HANDSOME, friendly, and unfortunately has a girlfriend whom he talks about in class but the thing is, I have spent time with him outside of class chatting and what not,I opened up to him about my issues with anxiety, stress,social anxiety, being Gay and having no one around to accept me etc and he has been super caring.


Today I spent 2 hours after class with him, we chatted quite a bit and I accompanied him to the campus' cafeteria because he wanted to get something to eat and there he asked if he "could get [me] anything". Now, I realize that he probably is just being friendly but I found it weird when he later on randomly brought up how as a Professor he likes to keep a "strict boundary between students" and him and how only he can "do things for students" like "buying them coffee or lunch" but never the other way around. He was like "some past students have tried to be friendly to get an extra grade boost" which again is weird because I'm just a genuine person who likes to talk and enjoys his company , and whomever shows me attention either platonically or romantically for that matter, so it was weird to hear him say that. It never was my intention to butter up for grades seeing as I'm a smart cookie and I can handle myself, almost a 4.0 GPA hollers!.



Here's the incredibly weird thing though, he offered to drive me home and I accepted. Why would he offer to drive me home? The whole way and even after I got out of the car I thanked him profusely, only because I get sheepish when people do things for me, and he said something along the lines of "I just felt we had a good conversation going and I wanted to give you a ride home" and then before that he goes "I didn't want you to get home late since it takes a while to commute by bus".



So I'm CONFUSED because I've had friendly conversational relationships with professors in the past and none have done things like this. I don't want to over step any boundaries, even though I sooooooooooo want to kiss him ugh but more than anything, I think it'd be super neat to have him as a friend once the semester is done, I never had kind and caring male influences growing up and I think it'd be a positive thing to have him around. What do I do?? I think the best thing is simply be friendly, myself and not think too much, right? Ugh he smells so good and he's so dorky, handsome, a big doofus and sexy,I CAN'T!:icon_redf

 

I'm the QUEEN of reading way too much into situations and making grandiose and fantastical scenarios out of minuscule moments. That being said, this moment was WEIRD in that this is the first time an Authority figure has gone beyond an established environment, in this case an Academic setting, and entered into personal territory ie my neighborhood house, I mean it was a "What just happened" moment for me. I think he's really sweet and I like him a lot but yeah I'm just going to treat him as an authority figure. The only problem is that he's so friendly and charming it's like I see him as a "friend" rather than a Professor , I know that sounds so weird, but idk. I kinda want to spend more time with him though, strictly platonic of course and I absolutely have no funny business up my sleeve, like I said I never had strong male influences in my life and here's someone, a "Straight" dude no less, who's so liberal about a lot of things that it's refreshing to simply be "allowed" to be myself for once in my life. That being said, I just don't want to give him wrong vibes and think I'm trying to jump him ugh.