I didn't quite know where to put this post, but I'm assuming this is a better place for my situation. (Sorry, but this post is going to be a little long because my situation is multi-folded, hopefully it makes sense, and not sound weird/stupid.) I am a male. I don't like to identify myself as gay versus bi mostly because I've had very slight physical, and more often emotional attraction to females. However, I'm a lot more strongly infatuated and attracted to males. Mentally/physically. My parents(and some family), and a good bit of my friends understand that I'm "bi/gay" - they are all quite accepting and supportive. However, my parents tend to tell me that I shouldn't/can't identify myself sexually if I've never had experience with people before. They also don't know that my preference is stronger for men then women. When I try to bring up something like this though - they go back to saying I can't be sure for lack of experience relationship-wise and sexual-wise. *Mind you, I've never been in a relationship before (I have had crushes, and etc. but never sexual), I'm only 16 years old. But I'll get to this later in the post.* I understand what my parents mean, but I wish they understood that right now - I really do feel like my sexuality is real - even without being in relationships. Things become weird when they always talk about "do you like her?" or "you want to date her?" When I'm not considering them as an interest much if any. Especially when I want to consider thinking about if I want to date "him." >>>> This is where something else comes in and complicates it. I really am on the watch for a same-sex relationship. But I barely know of any openly-gay men, let alone them being much of an option for dating. I still am nervous of coming home one day with a relationship with a male - even though my parents are accepting, it just feels awkward and confusing thinking I feel like I should try and be in a relationship with a female but I don't think that'd truly feel like me. Also, being in high school, dating when you have strong preference to be homosexual is actually quite difficult, I already stated that I don't know many people openly-gay, and even though I'm generally around accepting people, asking people their sexuality just seems like a bombshell waiting to happen. (I live in the Bible Belt.) I've considered waiting until I'm 18 or out of high school to go on various different dating websites, but I'm not sure how far that'll go. I'm also considering waiting to date until college. (Not that I will go to college to just date, but I'll be having more free-options to date people, and things will be more relaxed in this area.) It also puts pressure on things that I'm having ambitions with success in school, writing, and self-discovery. Along with me ALREADY wanting to be in a relationship quite a lot... I'm OK with being single, but I just wish... That I had some love, other than from just family and friends. <3 But I don't know, I don't expect people to have any golden advice to help me with this situation. So I guess I'm just asking for anyone who's been in my situation, or if they have any type of input. Meh, I just need a hug right now. X_X
You are in that unfortunate age for LGBT kids where if you don't know any other LGBT to date there's not much you can do. I was in your shoes - no one in my school was out except a few guys who were incredibly unattractive. I had no options so I felt pretty lonely. Obviously at your age you aren't supposed to use dating apps/websites because they're for 18+, and if you did find a relationship on there it would be entering a somewhat grey area that isn't recommended. However, I did make it through and now I'm in a relationship I'm really enjoying. It just took some patience to get through that period of my life. So maybe you don't have many options to directly find a relationship. But it will do you a lot of good to just try to meet more people and expand your horizons a little. Join some clubs or groups and try to make friends outside of your school/community. Meeting new people will not only give you a chance to meet someone you could date, but it will do a lot for your self confidence and personal skills. For now, keep on hanging on.
Keep on doing what you love to do. If you do meet someone while you are out doing these activities, great! You two have something in common already. Don't be hesitant. If you see someone you are interested in, ask that person out. The worst that can happen is a no. If you are interested in your friend/ friend of friend. Do be careful since one wrong move could damage your friendship. I would suggest to test the water first in these case. Or just avoid romantic relationship with friends and colleagues all together. Also, I would suggest for you to be out of the closet if you haven't already. Gay/Bi guys are more likely to approach you if they already know your preference.
@Sek Yay, I'm not the only person. lol But yeah, sometimes it is a little upsetting, wanting to be in some sort of connection with someone but you're not in the position to. It feels like an emotional trap. Also, I agree, dating online is a bit weird, and not always something that could work out. That's why I would wait until I'm 18 before doing this. I've been doing a few groups and clubs, but I still need to get out there a bit more. You are correct that it will give me more opportunities and help my confidence. Thanks for your input. @Sugarholic I'm somewhat out of the closet, it's not really scary for me as it is awkward/confusing. But it's a work-in-progress. XP Also, you are also right about the worst that could happen is a no, (I don't have any friends that are gay-males, or any that I'd date right now - so the friend stuff isn't relevant right now lol) - so yeah, I shouldn't be so hesitant. Thanks for responding :3 Thanks for responding
You're very welcome. You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders so I'm sure you'll be fine. All the best, buddy.
You're so cute! I completely understand what you're going through. Your situation is actually quite similar to mine. Just hang on. One day, it'll happen. You're going to find that one person that understands you and knows what you're going through. Once you find him, you will be the happiest person on earth. <3 I know you really want to be in a relationship very badly, but everything has it's time. In the meantime, come to my house! Let's watch GLEE together!
LOL, I'm not sure how much I'm into shows like Glee, but with you - I'll take you up on the offer. XDDDDDDDDDD And thanks for understanding and your words, it means quite a bit to me.
