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How to help a friend who feels like no one could love him

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bubbles123, May 31, 2015.

  1. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    So there's this guy I know and he's always been really lonely. He feels like he needs a girl to love him or he won't ever be happy and he often makes decisions based on what might get a girl's attention. He's been rejected several times and at our school's prom he got really sad and upset because a bunch of his friends are in relationships. I feel bad because I was dancing with my friend during a slow dance and we saw him standing on the side looking sad and I should have asked him to dance but I didn't regrettably. By the end of the dance, he was really sad and when my friend went to talk to him, he said there's no such thing as love.
    I'm not really good friends with him so I don't know what he thought about it but I sent him an email today asking how he was and saying that everyone cares about him and I hope he feels better. Then he responded with this long email about how he's realized that no girl will ever love him and no one will actually care if he's better or not. I responded to him trying to reassure him as best I could but he hasn't responded all day and I'm worried about him. I don't know if there's anything else I should do to help and I feel like I should have asked him to dance at the prom or something. I just want him to know that his friends do care about him. Everyone was really worried about him and we don't want him to feel this way. Any suggestions?
     
  2. Tyrael

    Full Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that your friend is feeling this way. I'm assuming he's about the same age as you are and the teenage years can be a pretty trying time for lots of people. I went through a period similar to that when I was younger but thankfully I got through it once I got older and started to have more success in meeting partners.

    It sounds like you've tried hard already to help him and that's a lovely thing you've done considering you're not really good friends with him. Hopefully it is a phase he's going through, but there could be more to it than him just having trouble meeting a girl. Perhaps he's having a hard time at home with his family, you can't know the whole story unfortunately.

    Personally I would send him another e-mail simply stating that you know he's having a tough time and if he ever needs someone to talk to you're there for him. That will mean a lot to someone who feels alone. Then wait and see if he comes to you to talk and just watch to see if he improves or not. If you become genuinely worried about him further down the line, consider taking your concerns to a teacher/guidance counselor. The reason I suggest this is that it could be a lot more serious than you realise and it would just be a precaution, not telling tales or such.

    It's nice to see people looking out for one another. Keep that up if you can, it's rare these days!